


The Private Lives of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John H. Watson

by Silvaimagery



Series: Improbability [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970)
Genre: AU, Christmas, Comfort, Deceit, Drug Use, F/M, Family Dinners, Forced Relationship, Jealousy, Lies, M/M, Murder, Pretend Relationship, Proposals, fem!Charles Augustus Magnussen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-07 15:29:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1904217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvaimagery/pseuds/Silvaimagery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock finds himself in an awkward position and does what he does best: he lies.  Miscalculations are inevitable sometimes and unfortunately (or fortunately) the lie worked out to his advantage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Saw ‘The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes’ this weekend and I got the idea for this fic. Also, I thought Robert Stephens looked like Benedict in profile some times. It helped me imagine BBC Sherlock even more.
> 
> Takes place during the ‘Empty Hearse’. Mary and John are just dating, they are not engaged or expecting. Also, I made Charles a woman because I needed someone to take the place of ‘Madame Petrova’.

“Sher-” His voice breaks.

I watch him swallow.

He clenches his fists and lowers his face.

He inhales deeply and releases it slowly through his mouth.

My stomach clenches uncomfortably.

Could be guilt or hunger.

I was going to choose hunger and ignore the other possibility.

I clear my throat.

“Short version: Not dead.”

He shakes his head.

“Two years. You let me believe you were dead for two years.” He whispers.

My throat constricts and I shake my head.

I swallow.

“John.”

I place my hand on his shoulder and his reaction is instant.

He shoves my hand off and staggers onto his feet, his chair scrapping loudly on the floor.

I close my mouth.

Some of the other guests of the restaurant look our way.

I raise my hands in surrender.

“John.”

He looks up at me, anger and hurt clear in his teary eyes.

“How could you do this to me? One word Sherlock. Just one word from you was all I needed!”

I lower my arms but my body is tense waiting for his fist to connect with my body.

There was a 75% probability that he would take a swing at me and a 98% chance he would not miss.

I was in no physical state to avoid it if he took a lunge at me.

“And then what?”

He frowns.

“What?”

“What would you have done then?”

“I could have come with you. I could have helped you.”

“Exactly why I didn’t tell you. Don’t look at me like that. I know you are capable, both as a soldier and a doctor. But as you have constantly reminded me, friends protect each other. I could not endanger your life any more than I already had. It was something I had to finish alone.”

“But-”

“And I knew Moriarty’s people would be looking at you. So I had to make my death as real as possible and as believable to them and to you.”

“Sherlock.”

John always responded better to truth and heartfelt apology.

I bite my lip before forcing myself to say the words I kept close to my chest.

“John. I am really sorry for the pain this has caused you. I wanted to contact you so many times.”

He snorts.

“Shut up. Just shut your mouth Sherlock.”

He takes a deep breath and I believe for a moment that he is going to hit me.

His fists are clenched, he has widen his stance and his shoulders are squared.

I prepare myself.

“You idiot.” He says breathlessly.

I frown.

He throws his arms around my waist as he hugs me tight.

I can’t help the pained groan that escapes me.

“Oh shit. Sherlock. What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“A little bit.” I say placing a hand over my right side.

“Sherlock.” He demands.

“It’s fine John.”

“Let me be the judge of that.”

I sigh.

He pushes my hand aside.

“You’re bleeding.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Sherlock. Why are you bleeding?”

He starts to untuck my shirt.

“I was shot, obviously.”

“Shot? How long ago?”

“What day is today?”

“Thursday.”

“Oh. On Tuesday.”

“Tuesday!”

“Shh.”

“Why in the hell aren’t you in a hospital?”

I wave him away.

“Unnecessary.”

“Unnec-Sherlock!”

“It’s fine John. The bullet misses all vital organs. I thought it was unnecessary to stay in the hospital. I wanted to come back and I figured you had suffered enough without me.”

He huffs.

“You great git.”

“You smiled. Does that mean you’re not angry with me anymore?”

I can feel my lips quirk of their own accord.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“No but you always make it impossible for me to stay angry with you for long.”

“I’m sorry?”

He snort.

“Sit down.”

“I’m fine.”

“Sherlock. You’re bleeding and you’ve lost weight. Sit down before you pass out.”

“Fine. But I am not doing this for you.”

“Then why?”

“The room is tilting to the left.”

I let him guide me into the chair.

I close my eyes.

“Call an ambulance!” John calls.

“Just give me a moment.” I say.

“Right.”

I blink my eyes open as I feel hands on me.

Suddenly the world tilts and I am lying on my back.

“What just happened?”

“You fainted you berk.”

“I did?”

“You are really out of it if you didn’t even realize you had.”

I smile.

“Oh John, how I’ve missed you.”

Suddenly there is a flurry of activity around me.

Paramedics.

Great.

“If you insist on spreading about your incompetence, can you at least hurry up with the morphine?” I ask.

I hear John sigh.

“He might have internal bleeding.” John says.

Moments later, the gurney is carried out of the restaurant and I groan as I am placed in the ambulance.

“Careful!” I yell at the closest paramedic.

Male, twenty-five, married, wife is pregnant but suspects she is cheating with his brother.

I close my eyes.

“Don’t worry. The child is yours.” I say.

“What?”

“Excuse me.” John says.

“Sorry sir, we can’t allow you in there.”

“I’m his doctor.”

I smile.

“Alright then.”

I can feel as John comes closer.

“Sherlock.”

“Hmm.”

“Still with us then?”

“Yes.”

The needle of the I.V. doesn’t hurt so much.

And I am dreading and anxiously waiting for the pain killer to enter my veins.

“We’ll be at the hospital soon alright? Just hold on.”

“Seven minutes.”

“What?”

“It’s how long it takes and don’t try to placate me with your empty assurances. Save that for ordinary people.”

“Right. What was I thinking?”

“Who is she?”

“Who?”

“The woman you were waiting for at the restaurant.”

He clears his throat.

“Her name is Mary.”

“Boring.”

“Don’t be like that. She’s really nice and I think you will like her. Not like the others.”

“It’s what you always say.”

He huffs out a laugh.

“I know but you will like this one, I promise. She’s special and oh shit.”

I open my eyes.

“What?”

“Mary. Oh shit.”

He takes out his phone and dials.

“Not the best way to make an impression. She will surely hate me after this. I can’t wait.” I tell him.

“Yeah, just shut up for a moment. No, not you Mary. Hello. I am so sorry. I completely forgot, there was an emergency. I really am sorry.”

He nods along to what Mary is saying.

I close my eyes again.

I sigh as the medication enters my bloodstream.

So different from cocaine but still as good.

For the moment.

“Right. I promise, yeah. Alright, until then love. Bye.”

He ends the call and sighs.

“Did your special lady forgive you then for abandoning her at the restaurant on your anniversary?” I ask.

“How-never mind. And I hope so.”

“Shouldn’t you be doing something?” I ask.

He snaps on some gloves and opens my shirt.

“Are you going to lie still?” He asks.

“Where else am I supposed to go?”

He takes a look at the wound.

“Minor signs of infection, the wound is inflamed and bleeding. It is not a great deal of blood which means that has either not been treated properly or that you are bleeding internally. And knowing you I would not be surprised if it was both. Two stitches have been torn you clot head.”

“Is that all?”

He sits back and looks down at me.

“Was there an exit wound?”

“No.”

“Where were you treated?”

“Unimportant.”

“Sherlock.”

“Mycroft arranged it. It was perfectly fine and legal.”

“Jesus Sherlock.” He hisses. “Were you even in a hospital?”

“Of course I was! Mycroft was worried that I would die, especially after I went into shock.”

He rubs his face.

“Okay. I suppose I’ll have to call your brother and have him deliver the doctors notes.”

“If you insist.”

“I do and I will.”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

I swallow my smile.

It was good to be home.


	2. Chapter 2

“How much longer do I have to stay here!?”

“Stop it you tit.”

“Time is being wasted.”

“Because you have better things to do?”

“Of course I do!”

“Nope. Your only job at the moment is to heal.”

“I could be doing that back at the flat.” I frown.

Everything was so dull and irritating.

I clench my hand to stop myself from scratching my healing wound.

I look at the morphine pump before staring back at the ceiling.

“No. If you were at the flat then you would be on the computer, pacing the floors, out in the street doing god knows what or exploding something in the kitchen.”

“Of course.” I shrug.

He sighs.

I look at him.

He had been a constant presence and I was not ashamed to exploit my injury to have him here with me 24/7. 

But he was clearly tired and the cafeteria food (if it could be called that) was not enough to reanimate him.

“Pass me my phone.”

“Nope.”

“John.”

He looks at me and I stare back.

He picks up my mobile and hands it to me.

“Thank you.”

He sits back in the awful chair by my bedside and turns his gaze back to the telly.

_Angelo, I need you to deliver your best meal, complete with dessert to St. Barts, room 412. –S.H._

_Mycroft, John needs a better chair that will not cause him any discomfort. –S.H._

_The only thing causing him discomfort is you. –M.H._

_Send one of your henchmen with one of the ridiculously plush leather chairs you keep in your office. –S.H._

_What’s the magic word? –M.H._

_Mummy. –S.H._

_Will be delivered in 15 minutes, so good to hear you are alive. -Angelo_

_On its way. –M.H. ___

__I smirk and set down my phone._ _

__“What’s got you so happy then?”_ _

__“Oh, nothing much.”_ _

__“Right.”_ _

__“Yoo-hoo!”_ _

__“Mrs. Hudson.” John says standing._ _

__“Oh Sherlock, you are looking so much better today dear. How do you feel?”_ _

__She kisses my hair._ _

__“I’m perfectly fine Mrs. Hudson.”_ _

__Mrs. Hudson and John share a look and I roll my eyes._ _

__“Have a seat.” John offers._ _

__Mrs. Hudson sits down in the vacated chair._ _

__“I brought you some flowers dear, I thought they could cheer up the room a bit. It is a bit drab.” She says curling her nose in distaste._ _

__“That’s an understatement.” I say._ _

__She takes my hand in hers._ _

__“I hope you have been behaving yourself. If not for the good nurses then at least for poor John. After all you did make him suffer, making him think you were dead. It really wasn’t a nice thing you did.”_ _

__I sigh._ _

__John smiles._ _

__“I make no promises.” I tell them both._ _

__“Delivery for Mr. Holmes.”_ _

__“Ah Billy. Do come in.”_ _

__He comes in and sets the bag on the tray._ _

__“John.” I say indicating the food._ _

__He opens and closes his mouth before coming closer._ _

__“Thank you Billy.”_ _

__“So glad you’re not dead Mr. Holmes.”_ _

__I nod._ _

__He backs out of the room._ _

__“Thank you.” John calls after him._ _

__“Go on then.” I say._ _

__He opens the bag and my chest fills with emotions I would much rather keep locked away as I watch him close his eyes and inhale the scent of rich food._ _

__His lips quirk in a small pleased smile and my lips curl upwards in answer._ _

__He looks at me._ _

__“Well are you going to eat or stand there inhaling steam?”_ _

__He sits by my legs and removes the Styrofoam container from the plastic bag._ _

__He shares with Mrs. Hudson and luckily Angelo sent enough food for two portions._ _

__John hurries to get them both a drink from the vending machine before coming back._ _

__He chats with Mrs. Hudson, his smiles are more forthcoming as is his laughter._ _

__I relax against the bed._ _

__Just as they have finished their meal, Anthea and a couple of body guards arrive with the monstrosity Mycroft calls a chair._ _

__Mrs. Hudson stands so that they can move in the new chair._ _

__Anthea and the men leave as quickly as they came._ _

__Mrs. Hudson and John argue over who will sit in the new chair and predictably, Mrs. Hudson wins._ _

__John sits._ _

__“Oh.” He says before his body relaxes in the chair._ _

__I smirk._ _

__Mrs. Hudson winks at me._ _

__“Look at us all here together again. Oh Sherlock, I really am so glad to see you alive and well. It broke my heart to think you were gone.” She sniffs and John hands her a tissue._ _

__My chest tightens uncomfortably._ _

__“I really am sorry Mrs. Hudson.”_ _

__She waves me away._ _

__“I understand why you did it dear. And thank you. I just am so glad to see you again. Now the flat won’t be so lonely and neither will John.”_ _

__John shifts uncomfortably._ _

__“It is good to be back as well. It appears that Graham has been letting things slide.”_ _

__“Greg.” John corrects._ _

__“Whatever. Not important.”_ _

__“And you think that he is just going to let you waltz in and start solving cases again hmm?”_ _

__“Why not?”_ _

__He lets out a frustrated breath._ _

__“Because Sherlock, when everything with Moriarty and you went down they ended up looking like idiots.”_ _

__“They were always idiots.”_ _

__“This was different. There was an investigation.”_ _

__“I was exonerated.”_ _

__“Still.”_ _

__“Don’t worry about that John. He will.”_ _

__“You sure?”_ _

__“Yep.”_ _

__“You don’t have to. We can solve private cases.”_ _

__“I though you enjoyed working with Lestrade?”_ _

__“That was before.”_ _

__“Before?”_ _

__He looks at me._ _

__Before Lestrade turned against me._ _

__Before the Fall._ _

__“Oh.”_ _

__“Yes, oh.”_ _

__“John. I did not jump off the roof of St. Bart’s because of Anderson and Donovan. They have always been saying things about me and I do not expect that to change. I jumped because Moriarty threatened to kill you, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade. Three bullets, three gun men.”_ _

__“Oh dear.” Mrs. Hudson says. “Must have been dreadful.”_ _

__“Yes, now be quiet.”_ _

__“Sherlock.” John reprimands._ _

__“Look, I don’t care if you want to blame my ‘death’ on the Yarders. I would very much enjoy watching you showing Anderson and Donovan their place. But I know how much you value your camaraderie with Lestrade. You don’t have many friends as it is.”_ _

__“And whose fault is that?”_ _

__“Yours.”_ _

__“What?” He laughs. “How is it my fault?”_ _

__“Because you always pick my company above that of others.”_ _

__“Yes. Yes I do.”_ _

__“I only require the company of my blogger, when you aren’t nagging me, and my landlady, when she isn’t bothering me with her chatter.”_ _

__Mrs. Hudson slaps my leg._ _

__“Be nice.”_ _

__“All I am trying to say is that John likes to have friends who aren’t me, even though all he does is complain about me.”_ _

__“No I don’t.”_ _

__“Yes. You do.”_ _

__“No.”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“Oh look at you two! I am so glad to see the two of you back together. Did you know he was dating a woman?” She whispers to me. “A woman!” She giggles. “I knew it wouldn’t last, they never do. You two were meant for each other, I just know it.”_ _

__“Mrs. Hudson, for the last time. Sherlock and I are not a couple.”_ _

__“Deny it all you want dear, I can always tell.”_ _

__The put out look on John’s face struck me as comical._ _

__I made sure to take a photograph for my ‘John File’._ _

__I laugh._ _

__“What are you laughing about?” John demands._ _

__“Your face. Oh John, you should really stop caring about what people think.”_ _

__“You could bloody well help by denying it.”_ _

__“Ugh.”_ _

__“Wanker.”_ _

__“John Watson!” Mrs. Watson gasps._ _


	3. Chapter 3

“You bastard!”

“Hello to you too Detective Inspector.”

He paces back and forth.

“Jesus Christ, Sherlock. I hope you realize the shit you put us through with this…this…”

“Yes. Not to say that you didn’t deserve a little of it for the part you played.”

He sighs exasperated.

“You bloody well know why I did it.”

“It still hurt.”

“Oh please. You know what was going to happen before I did. I know you and your brother concocted some elaborate plan that would make you look cool and keep the rest of us in the dark and on top of that, make us all look bloody stupid when you did show up again.”

“Of course.”

“Here is your tea and toast. Which you will eat and drink completely with minimum complaint.”

“Yes John.”

“Greg.”

“John.” Lestrade nods cautiously.

“How have you been?”

Lestrade seems a bit surprised by John’s inquiry.

I needed to get the whole story of their encounter at my funeral.

It had to be fantastic knowing John and his temper.

I could almost picture Lestrade trying to apologize to John.

He must not have expected to get punched.

I smile and take a bite of my toast.

“Fine. You?”

“As well as can be expected.”

“Must have been quite a shock then.”

Ugh.

Useless chatter.

I tune them out.

I narrow my eyes as John brings Lestrade a cup of tea.

I knew my suggestion that they remained friends would come back to bite me in the arse.

Stupid, stupid!

“Well thank you for dropping by Inspector. That is all.”

“Don’t listen to him.” John says.

“How much longer is he going to be laid up then?”

“If he behaves himself, it shouldn’t be more than another week or so.”

“Knowing Sherlock, I highly doubt he’s going to follow orders.”

“Why do you think I made them keep him a whole week in the hospital? This way at least I know that he won’t reopen the wound. Well. With Sherlock it is still a possibility but I am hoping that he won’t be stubborn about this.”

“Stop speaking about me like I’m not in the room.” I demand.

It was the least they could do if they insisted in stupid and unnecessary chatter.

“I have some cold cases you can take a look at.”

“No.”

“Yes. He would love to.” John interrupts.

“I am the consulting detective. I choose what cases to take.”

John was starting to grate on my last nerve.

I know he was doing it so that I would have something to stimulate my mind while I laid here like an invalid.

But a lot of cold cases Lestrade had were so plainly obvious that even Anderson could solve them if he rubbed his two brain cells together.

“Just bring them by.” John smiles.

I struggle to get up from the sofa.

Lestrade moves to help me but I wave him away.

“Sherlock, where are you going?”

I ignore John’s question.

Once I am able to stand from the sofa, I take a moment to breathe.

Damn my body for making me appear weak.

I can feel sweat beading on my forehead.

I move slowly towards my room.

“Sherlock.” John protests.

At least I can still slam the door.

I lie down on my bed with a pained groan.

I take few deep breaths before closing my eyes.

********************

“Sherlock.”

I blink my eyes open.

Damn.

“What time is it?”

“It’s four in the afternoon.”

I had lost six hours.

“What do you want?”

“You missed lunch.”

I try to roll onto my side but it pulls on my stitches.

I put my hand over the wound.

Thankfully John had insisted that I sleep on the right side of the bed.

I had been against it at first but John’s reasoning had been infallible so I had listened to his advice.

“Come on. Up.”

“Go away.”

“Nope. Budge up.”

I sigh before pushing myself up.

He arranges some pillows on by back and I sit back.

“What is so important?”

He comes back into the room with a tray.

“You have no excuse for not finishing it all. You need to regain the pounds you lost.”

“It’s just transport John.”

“Transport or not, it still needs to be taken care of. What will you do if your transport fails you?”

“Have Mycroft look into creating a new body for me made entirely out of metal?”

“So you were watching the movie with me.”

“I will admit no such thing.”

He smiles and I smile back.

“Come on then. Time for your medicine.”

I groan.

“None of that, come on.”

I take my antibiotic with my tea, the pain pill I refuse.

I finish all of my dinner, including the green gelatin John had made, much to my surprise and chagrin.

But John seems happy about it so I suppose I could allow it this once.

“Time for bed then.”

“I’m already in bed.”

“Don’t be a prat. I only meant that it was time for you to rest.”

“I just woke up, you woke me up.”

“So that you could eat.”

“So now I’m awake.”

“And?”

“Entertain me.”

“What?” He laughs. “No.”

“I do it all the time.”

“I would not call your abuse entertaining.”

“It’s not my fault you are offended by my constructive criticism.”

“It’s not constructive.”

“Yes it is.”

“No Sherlock, it is not. I am not going to argue with you about this. Just go to sleep.”

“I’ve already had sufficient sleep.”

He sighs and covers his eyes with his hand for a moment.

“Then come out and watch telly with me for a while.”

“Ugh. How you find that dribble entertaining I will never figure out.”

“You enjoy it too.”

“Debatable.”

“You liked that ‘Autopsy’ show the other day.”

“Yes, for all two minutes. The fact that the woman died of blunt force trauma to the head was so obvious even the idiotic camera man could tell. I do not know why it took the forensic pathologist an hour to explain.”

“Shut up. You liked it, end of story.”

He knew me so well.

“How about a movie then?”

I push the tray towards him.

“I can go and get the computer and put on a DVD. We’ll have a nice lie down and enjoy a movie.”

John had only offered to lie down beside me twice in the three (five-I was ‘dead’ for two but to me they still counted) years I had known him.

Once when I had gotten a concussion and on the night of Irene’s ‘death’.

“What movie?”

He smiles and takes the tray.

“I’ll let that be a surprise.”

“Fine.”

He hurries out with the tray and I can hear him shuffling around in the living room as he gathers the materials necessary for our movie watching.

He comes back with his laptop.

He had left the DVD case behind and had already forwarded the beginning credits so that the title would not flash across the screen.

Clever John.

He sits down next to me.

He reclines against the headboard, our shoulders touching comfortably.

He sets the laptop between us and hits the play button.

I had to admit that the film held my attention for the most part.

Though I did begin to get drowsy as the salvage crew came aboard the long lost ship.

I shift so that I am resting comfortably on my side, my head brushing John’s arm.

I let my eyes drift close.

The insistence of my bladder woke me.

I blink my eyes and my darkened room comes into focus.

John’s even breathing was comforting.

I sit up slowly, John’s arm falling from around my shoulders.

“Hmm?” He asks sleepily before settling down again.

I take his laptop and place it on the nightstand before going to the restroom to relieve myself.

When I come back, John had wiggled under the covers and is sleeping on his back.

I make my way into the bed, careful not to jostle the mattress too much.

A startled John was not good in close quarters.

I lie back with a sigh.

I turn on my side again and stare at John’s profile.

There would be no nightmares tonight.

I close my eyes and let his gentle breathing soothe me back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first movie I reference is pretty obvious but have you guessed the second film?


	4. Chapter 4

The vibrating of my phone finally breaks through my slumber.

I open my eyes and turn on my back to reach for it, almost knocking John’s laptop to the floor in the process.

I sit up and reach for my phone.

I look over my shoulder at John’s sleeping form.

I unlock my phone.

Five texts and a missed call from Mycroft.

Something must have his highness’ panties in a bunch.

What do you want? –S.H.

Brace yourself brother dear. –M.H.

Get on with it. –S.H.

At ten this morning you shall receive an unexpected visit. The rest you can figure out for yourself. –M.H.

I frown down at my phone.

Unexpected visit.

It was not he himself who would visit this morning, he never told me in advance when he was going to annoy us with his presence.

No. This had to be someone who rarely visited.

Hence the ‘unexpected’.

High probability that it was someone I knew.

Someone I had a relationship with.

That certainly narrowed it down.

Someone I knew but would rather avoid.

Who fell into this criteria?

“Oh.”

“Sherlock? What is it? What’s wrong?”

“My parents.”

“What?”

“My parents, John!”

“What about them?”

“They are coming.”

You have to stop this Mycroft. –S.H.

And deny Mummy and Father the joy of seeing their darling boy? –M.H.

Mycroft, you big fat twat! -S.H.

Language brother. –M.H.

“Sherlock?”

You are enjoying this. –S.H.

Most certainly. –M.H.

“Quickly John! Alert Mrs. Hudson.”

“But-”

“There is no time! Hurry.” I shove him towards the stairs.

“Sherlock. Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

“Of course not! Don’t be an idiot John. Tell Mrs. Hudson that she is not to open the door. We are not taking clients or visitors.”

“We can’t make your parents come all this way and then not open the door. When was the last time you saw them?”

“What does it matter?”

“Don’t be an inconsiderate prick Sherlock.”

“Just do it!”

He stomps down the stairs.

I hurry back to my room.

I will never forgive you if you allow them to come. –S.H.

You know very well that no one can stop Mummy once she’s made up her mind. –M.H.

You must do something. –S.H.

So sorry to disappoint you brother, but it’s too late. –M.H.

Excited voices in the foyer, coming towards the stairs.

I strain my ears.

I can hear John’s happy replies.

“Damn, damn!”

Cursed be the day the universe decided Mycroft and I should be related.

And damn Mummy and Father for always being early.

“Sherlock.” John calls.

I take a moment to compose myself.

“Sherlock.” John says again.

I walk out of my room.

“Look at our poor dear.” My mother says coming forward in a rush and trapping me in the kitchen.

“Hello Mummy.”

“‘Hello Mummy’ is all you have to say? Shame of you Sherlock Holmes.” She says cupping my cheeks.

“It is good to see you relatively well son.” Father says patting my back.

“Thank you.”

“Shall I make some tea?” John offers.

“Yes, thank you Doctor Watson.” Father says.

From the look John was giving me, this was the moment when I formally introduced them.

“Mummy, Father. This is John Watson, my friend.”

“Best friend.” John inputs. 

I roll my eyes.

“John, meet Mummy and Father.”

“Do they have names or should I should I just call them Mummy and Father Holmes?” He smiles.

I bite my tongue to keep myself from making a snide remark.

“Oh John dear.” Mummy smiles.

I knew that smile.

That smile said ‘I am never letting you go’.

“Oh god.” I say.

“Sherlock.” Father admonishes.

“You may call me Mummy, I insist. And this is my faithful companion Arthur.”

“You may call me Arthur or Art if you prefer Doctor Watson.” Father says shaking John’s hand vigorously.

John smiles again.

“John please.” John tells them.

“So nice to finally meet you.” Mummy says.

She sends me a disapproving glance.

I frown at her.

“Sherlock dear, why have you kept the good Doctor from us? We would have enjoyed to have you both over to the cottage.”

“Exactly why.”

“Sherlock.” Father says again.

“Have a seat, please.” John says indicating the sofa.

He moves to boil some water for tea.

I sit in my chair.

Mummy removes her coat and Father hangs it up on the coat hanger.

Great.

They were getting comfortable.

I shudder.

They sit and look around the flat.

I bristle with indignation.

“This is nice. Mike told us you had a roommate. I certainly didn’t expect it to last, but I am glad you found such a good man to share your life with Loki.” Mummy says.

I glance over at John but he is still busy with the tea.

“Sherlock.” I correct. 

Mummy chooses to ignore it.

“Yes. This is a good location. You have the flat upstairs as well?” Father asks.

I nod.

“Nice. You could always move your science equipment and turn it into a lab. There is still some of your old things at the house. We could bring them by and help you set it up.” Father says.

I contemplate the idea.

John didn’t seem too bothered sharing a bed with me.

“Here we are.” John says.

He serves the tea and passes it out.

He sets a plate of biscuits on the coffee table in reach of Mummy and Father.

“John, how have you been love? It must have been hard being on your lonesome while Sherlock was off gallivanting on his own.” Mummy says.

“I was not gallivanting.”

“It was hard being here on my own. But well, this is home and I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.”

“That’s nice. I told Mycroft to bring you over. We didn’t like the idea of you being here all by yourself. But he said you wouldn’t have wanted to. Said you were mighty upset, not that I blame you.” Father says taking a sip of his tea.

“Wait. So you knew that he wasn’t dead?”

“Of course.” Mummy says.

“So that is why you weren’t at the funeral.”

John shakes his head.

I watch as he clenches his fist.

“But it’s all over now.” I say.

“You’re still upset. So sorry John.” Father says.

“So you haven’t completely forgiven Loki for what he did.” Mummy says.

I glare at her.

“Loki? Might have to remember that one.” John says sipping his tea. 

“People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones _Hamish _.”__

__John glares at me._ _

__“I know why he did it but I am still upset about the lie.” John explains._ _

__“I already apologized.” I tell him._ _

__“Yes but just because you apologized doesn’t mean that I’m over it. We talked about this.”_ _

__Yes._ _

__The toes in the milk argument._ _

__“So what brings you by?” John asks._ _

__“Mycroft told us that Sherlock was back. We are so glad that the whole dreadful ordeal is over.” Mummy says._ _

__“We appreciated being warned about the lies about Sherlock in the papers. It’s a good thing Mike told us too otherwise we would have believed that our son was dead.” Father says._ _

__Enough of this._ _

__They were just making it worse._ _

__“I am so glad you stopped by.” I say standing._ _

__“Mycroft has always kept us informed. We worry so much about Sherlock, especially when he was all alone in that dingy flat and that nasty habit of his.” Mummy continues._ _

__They weren’t standing._ _

__Why weren’t they standing?_ _

__“It was very hard knowing that he was so deep into his addiction. We tried to help him but you know how he is. So stubborn, he gets it from his mother.”_ _

__Mummy slaps Father’s knee._ _

__“Oh stop.” Mummy says smiling at Father before looking back at John. “When he overdosed the first time that is when I put my foot down. I had Mike freeze his account. We were just so desperate to get him off the filthy habit. But that didn’t stop him of course. No. He just found other ways to obtain the cocaine.” She shakes her head._ _

__“Yes, John knows all about the cocaine. Now off you go.”_ _

__“No I don’t.” John says pushing me back over to my chair._ _

__“John.” I say._ _

__“What? Your parent’s are here for a chat. Now sit down. Have a biscuit.”_ _

__“I don’t want a biscuit.”_ _

__“Then shut up. So sorry M-mummy, you were saying.”_ _

__He almost called my mother ‘Mrs.’._ _

__Shame he didn’t, it would have caused her to go into a strop and they would have left sooner._ _

__Which would have ended this dreadful conversation._ _

__But he didn’t._ _

__I sigh._ _

__“As I was saying, it wasn’t until he started working with Gregory Lestrade that we managed to find some ultimatum to get him off the binging. Mycroft arranged everything, he was in rehabilitation for almost half a year and now would you look at him. He still needs to gain some more weight but at least he’s off the drugs.” Mummy says with a smile my way._ _

__I close my eyes and try to get into my mind palace but I am unable to concentrate enough to open the doors._ _

__“And now he has you to keep him clean.” Father says._ _

__“Yes, well. I do what I can.”_ _

__“Don’t be so modest. We can’t even bear to imagine what would have been of our darling boy if he hadn’t met you.” Mummy says taking another sip of her cup of tea._ _

__“Yes. Every great mind needs someone to keep them tied to reality. I am just an average person, no shame in admitting that, and my darling Evelyn is the genius.” Father says patting Mummy’s hand._ _

__I roll my eyes._ _

__Really._ _

__Two people their age should be forbidden from behaving so lovable towards each other._ _

__It was hateful._ _

__“Don’t sell yourself short dear. You are also the sane one.” Mummy chuckles._ _

__“Yes well. It goes without saying that you are the sane one in your relationship.” Father tells John._ _

__“Relationship?” John asks._ _

__“You and Sherlock. Sherlock never learned to act like the rest of the world and good thing too. We didn’t want our boys to pretend to be something they are not. We always told them to embrace their genius. It is hard to keep up with them sometimes, I know it was for me when Evelyn would start going on about equations and theories. But I cannot imagine my life without her. I believe it must be the same for you with Sherlock.”_ _

__“Uhh.”_ _

__“Don’t worry about it dear, we’ve known about you and Sherlock for a while now. We are just glad that he found someone.” Mummy says gently._ _

__“But-”_ _

__“He claims to be asexual.”_ _

__I look at Father, my mouth falling open with indignation._ _

__“Well, he never right out and said it but we know he’s never been sexually involved with anyone.”_ _

__“Father!”_ _

__“Sorry my boy. But you always claimed you didn’t trust women.” He says raising an eyebrow._ _

__“That actually makes sense. He told me women were not his area.” John adds._ _

__Traitors, all of them._ _

__Mummy nods._ _

__“I tried to get him to make female friends but he never liked it. Oh, they were of use to him when they had something he wanted or needed but that was it.”_ _

__John snorts._ _

__“I take it he still does that?” Mummy asks._ _

__“Oh yes.”_ _

__“I do not.”_ _

__“Molly.”_ _

__“That’s different.”_ _

__“Molly? The little mousy girl who helped you pretend you were dead?” Father asks._ _

__I make silencing motions with my hand but he ignores them._ _

__John turns to me._ _

__“Molly knew?”_ _

__“Oh dear.” Mother says._ _

__“Of course. I needed her help.” I say nonchalantly._ _

__It wouldn’t be a big deal if no one made a big deal about it._ _

__“So Molly knew and your parent’s knew. Your brother knew of course since he warned your parents in advance. Who else?”_ _

__“Who else?”_ _

__“Who else knew Sherlock?”_ _

__I could see his vein throbbing in his neck._ _

__“Homeless network.”_ _

__“Okay. Okay. So Molly, Mycroft, your parents and a hundred tramps.”_ _

__“Don’t be ridiculous John. It was twenty-five at the most.”_ _

__“You…fucking bastard!”_ _

__He jumps to his feet and paces away._ _

__Okay._ _

__So John was going to make this into a big deal._ _

__I sigh._ _

__“John!” Mother cries aghast._ _

__“You could have sent me one word to let me know that you were alive! Just one word Sherlock.” He says stomping back over to me._ _

__“Yes, we’ve had this discussion before.”_ _

__“Well maybe I feel we should have it again! I am your best friend and you kept me in the dark. Out of everyone else, I should have been the first one to know your plan.”_ _

__“We worried that you might say something or divert from your part as the grieving friend.” I say looking up at him._ _

__“We?”_ _

__Damn._ _

__“Mycroft.” I say quietly._ _

__“So this was your brother’s plan? Next time I see him I am going to bash his head in with his bloody umbrella.”_ _

__How lovely._ _

__I barely manage to contain my smile._ _

__I didn’t need John thinking I was laughing at him._ _

__He was already angry enough._ _

__“I see that we’ve caused enough damage.” Father says standing._ _

__He urges mother onto her feet._ _

__“Why Sherlock? Why?!”_ _

__“John. I needed it to be real to anyone who-”_ _

__“So it’s my fault then? It’s all my fault!”_ _

__“I didn’t say that! Now stop overreacting. You’re not making a good impression.” I say getting slowly to my feet._ _

__“Overreacting! I’m overreacting!” He yells leaning in threateningly._ _

__“You really are dear.” Mummy says._ _

__“Shh!” I tell her._ _

__“You faked your death and then come waltzing back but I’m not supposed to have a problem with that because Sherlock bloody Holmes thinks it’s an okay thing to do!”_ _

__“Shut up John! I missed you just as much!”_ _

__“Yeah right!”_ _

__“We’ll be off.” Father says tugging mother to the door._ _

__“It’s the truth! You are the only person I’ve ever really cared about.”_ _

__“How do I know that’s not another bloody lie?”_ _

__“Because.”_ _

__“Because why?!”_ _

__“Because you are my only friend in the world and I love you!”_ _

__The silence is deafening._ _

__“We’ll just…ring us later will you Loki?” Mother says._ _

__I stare down at John’s shocked face before moving to escort my parent’s out._ _

__“Thank you for coming by. Get out.”_ _

__I go to close the door but Mummy put’s her foot in the door._ _

__I stare at her._ _

__“I can’t tell you how glad we are Sherlock.” She whispers._ _

__“Yes. He is a good man. Just give him some time to deal with all of this.” Father says._ _

__I look back at John who hasn’t moved before facing my parent’s again._ _

__“We’re just so glad that you’re back to stay dear.”_ _

__I try to close the door again but Mummy won’t budge._ _

__“Come by to visit more often, it will do you and John good to get out of the city for a while.” Father says._ _

__“Promise.” Mummy says looking up at me._ _

__“Promise.”_ _

__She caresses my face before moving away._ _

__I close the door._ _

__I look at John._ _

__He clears his throat and turns to look at me._ _

__“Did you meant it?”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__He nods._ _

__“I…you know. I…love you too.”_ _

__I nod._ _

__“I know.”_ _

__He smiles but I can tell that his eyes are watery._ _

__“There are some things that I said to you. Well, to your empty grave.”_ _

__“I know.”_ _

__“I meant them.”_ _

__“I know that too.”_ _

__“Of course you do.”_ _

__“I was alone too. And I think you saved my life in more ways than I saved yours.”_ _

__“Well we did chase some nutters.”_ _

__“I didn’t mean on cases.”_ _

__We stare at each other._ _

__He nods and sniffs._ _

__“I don’t think I made too good of an impression on your parents.”_ _

__“Don’t be ridiculous. They argue about the shade of socks, who are they to judge.”_ _

__He giggles._ _

__“Right.”_ _

__“So am I really forgiven this time?”_ _

__“Yes. I forgive you. I might still get upset at you from time to time but it’ll be better now that we’ve shouted out some things.”_ _

__I laugh._ _

__“That’s good.” I say sitting back in my chair._ _

__“Yes, it is. So you’re parents.”_ _

__“What about them?”_ _

__“They’re just so…ordinary.”_ _

__“The cross I’ve had to bear.”_ _

__He giggles again._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned into a monster! Mummy and Father Holmes’ visit was supposed to be a short one. Anyways, the movie I referred to in chapter 3 was ‘Ghost Ship’ in case some of you didn’t get it. And I have named Mummy and Father. Arthur in reference to Arthur Conan Doyle and because I couldn’t come up with a good one and Evelyn because it seemed fitting.


	5. Chapter 5

I hear someone stomping up the stairs and I look up from my microscope.

From the gait it can only one person.

I smile and stand.

“What did you do?” Mycroft demands entering the flat.

“Nice to see you too brother.”

“Sherlock.”

“Isn’t it a beautiful day?” I ask moving towards the window.

“Take it back.”

“No.”

“This is does not make us even! This is torture in the highest form.”

I turn to look at him.

“You’d know all about that wouldn’t you?”

He purses his lips.

“You are being childish.”

“I am not the one complaining about taking my parent’s to the opera.”

“How did you even get tickets? You hate the opera.”

“They were a present.”

“Present?”

“I just said as much. You are disturbed by it aren’t you?”

He sighs and I can tell he’s trying to hold on to his patience. 

“They were delivered last night.”

“From whom?”

“An admirer.”

He snort a laugh.

“Of yours?” He chuckles.

“I am the good looking one after all.”

He smirks.

“Yes, some would think so. I imagine your good doctor is among them.”

I square my shoulders.

“Leave John out of this.”

“Speaking of the good doctor, where is he? I would have guessed that after yesterday’s heartfelt confessions he would be here keeping you company.”

“He’s on a date.”

“Ah.”

“What do you want?”

“You know what I want.”

I stare at him, placing a blank look on my face.

Much like the one Anderson constantly carried.

In short, that of an idiot.

He glares back.

“Don’t give me that look Sherlock. You know very well what I am talking about.”

“Nope.”

“Just call her up and tell her that I will not be going.”

“Tell her yourself.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can. You just don’t want to. Ever the need to be the good son.”

“This isn’t about that Sherlock.”

“Then what is it about Mycroft?”

He manages to compose himself.

He sits in John’s chair and I come forward to sit in my chair.

We stare at each other.

Both of us calculating on how we could get the upper hand.

“Sebastian Moran.”

My shoulders tighten.

“What about him?”

“He has been elusive and has managed to dodge our attempts to capture him.”

“We knew he would be.”

“Yes. Which means there is only one place he would be.”

London.

“John?”

“Safe.”

“How sure are you?”

I did not need to specify who I was talking about.

“Sure enough to tell you not to worry. The good doctor is being watched.”

“Good.”

He cocks his head to the left and his eyes soften a bit.

He’s trying to comfort me.

“Moran is not Moriarty.”

“No. But just as dangerous.”

“Moriarty was the brains, Moran is the muscle. He cannot evade us for long. Men like Moran get impatient, he will not go into hiding. Soldiers are always too eager to risk their lives.”

“Yes but men like Moran do not risk their lives in vain. He isn’t stupid. He might not be as smart as Moriarty but he knows enough. He would have had to if he was going to step in as Moriarty’s right hand man.”

“It is more likely that he will try to finish what he failed to do.”

Yes.

He had failed to kill me in Russia.

He’s here to try again.

High probability that he will succeed this time.

But we were once again overlooking the most important asset at my disposal.

“I want to get John involved.”

“Absolutely not.”

“It’s not your decision.”

“You think he will not agree to help? It was the reason why he was not included in our ‘Lazarus’ project.”

“He was not included because you didn’t want him to be.”

“Yes because unlike you I was more concerned with the completion ratio than on how long it would take before you could come back to John.”

“I need John, he is my conductor of light.”

“He is a distraction.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“It is why Moran was able to get so close to you. You could have died.”

“But I didn’t!”

“Because I was there to pull you out of the mess you had made. Like always.”

I can hear John’s footsteps stop at the top of the stairs.

“Get out.”

“Moriarty figured out that the fastest way to get to you was through John. Do you not think Moran has weighed the options in his head?”

“Enjoy the show tonight.”

He stands.

I watch as he fixes his suit.

He had always been fussy.

“The woman who sent you those tickets will not be happy.”

“No.”

He smiles down at me.

“I know you’ve gone over who would send you those tickets and you’ve come up with a name. But it is not who you think it is.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No. It’s not.”

“Hmm.”

I know Mycroft knew John was there.

I glare up at him.

“You know Irene is not dead, you were the one who saved her life after all. And I know the only reason you swallowed the lie John and I gave you was because you didn’t want the doctor to know she was still alive. But Irene has already gotten what she want’s from you. What could she possibly gain from sending you expensive opera tickets?”

I knew my theory had been wrong but I had nothing else to go on.

“Perhaps she’s just being nice?”

He chuckles.

“Have a good day brother. Dr. Watson.”

John steps into the living room.

“Mycroft.” John says.

Mycroft walks out.

I look at him.

“So what was that all about?”

“Mycroft was just sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. I see that Mary has agreed to give you another chance.”

“Yes. Why did you lie?”

“About?”

“Irene.”

“In case you have forgotten John, you lied to me.”

“I wanted to spare your feelings.”

“Well done then.”

“Don’t be like that.”

I clench my hands.

Damn Mycroft.

“Did it ever occur to you that I was sparing _your _feelings?”__

__“No.”_ _

__“Well I could have been. You were uncomfortable lying to me about Irene but you didn’t want to tell me the truth because you were scared.”_ _

__“Yes, scared for you.”_ _

__“Why are we even arguing about this? It happened years ago, we’re over it. Move on.”_ _

__“Why was Mycroft here?”_ _

__“The opera.”_ _

__“What about it?”_ _

__“He was trying to force me to take our parents.”_ _

__“Why was he really here?” He asks taking a seat on the coffee table._ _

__I turn to look at him._ _

__“I already told you.”_ _

__“The opera, yes. Your brother wouldn’t have come all the way over here to tell you to take his place tonight. Leg work, he hates it remember? So what did he want?”_ _

__It made me oddly proud to know that John had learned some things from me._ _

__Even if it meant that he knew when I was lying or concealing the whole truth._ _

__In a positive note, he also learned to read Mycroft._ _

__I smile._ _

__“Sebastian Moran.”_ _

__“Who is he?”_ _

__“The man who shot me and Moriarty’s right hand man.”_ _

__“I thought you had taken care of Moriarty’s business?”_ _

__“I brought it down, yes. But I was not able to catch Moran.”_ _

__“And you’re brother is concerned?”_ _

__“He is sure Moran is in London.”_ _

__“And he will try to get to you through me.”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“What’s the plan then?”_ _

__I stand._ _

__“Don’t concern yourself with that, just make sure you’re safe.”_ _

__“Sherlock.”_ _

__“I don’t want you involved in this.”_ _

__“Bullshit! You just told your brother the exact opposite.”_ _

__“I’ve thought it through.”_ _

__“No.”_ _

__“I am not putting you in the line of fire John, not again.”_ _

__He squares his shoulder and lifts his chin._ _

__“Then let your brother take care of it.”_ _

__“Not an option.”_ _

__“Well you’re not going into battle without me.”_ _

__“John.”_ _

__“Not again.”_ _

__I stare down at him._ _

__“You weren’t always this stubborn.”_ _

__“And you didn’t always listen to your brother. Time has a way of changing a person.”_ _

__I smile._ _

__“Touché.”_ _

__“So what is the plan?”_ _

__“Get Moran without dying.”_ _

__“Simple. When do we start?”_ _


	6. Chapter 6

“Sherlock Holmes. I was expecting you sooner, it’s not nice to make a guest wait. Especially not when you live in such a hovel as this.”

I stare at the woman sitting in my chair.

Danish, early forties, single, newspaper owner, of power and wealth, blackmailer.

Hair is sandy brown (colored), 130 pounds, 5’11, expensive clothes, real diamonds, right handed.

“I was not expecting company.”

“You should have.”

She smiles, her eyes burning bright and her smile sharp.

A shivers travels down my spine.

This woman was dangerous, more than any other adversary I had met before.

“Charlize Augustus Magnussen.” I say.

She nods.

“Augustus?” I ask.

“Family name.”

“I see.”

“You received my tickets and yet it was your brother who attended.”

“I did not know the tickets were from you.”

“Would it have made a difference?”

“No.”

“I thought as much.”

“Then why bother?”

“Sometimes, only sometimes and in certain circumstances mind, I enjoy being wrong.”

“Ah.”

“Sherlock.” John says walking into the flat.

He was early from work.

“John Hamish Watson.” Charlize says.

“Yes. And you are?”

“Not important. I am not here to see you.”

I can tell that it bothers John.

He clenches and unclenches his hands.

“You are in my flat and I have a right to know who you are.” John tells her.

She smiles like a shark.

Her eyes hungry.

I shiver again.

“John, this is Charlize Augustus Magnussen.” I say.

John nods.

I had the urge to shield John from this woman, to get him as far away as possible yet at the same time I didn’t want to be left alone with Charlize.

She was unnerving.

“What do you want?” John asks directly.

I stare at John.

He is always insisting that I should not be rude and yet here he was.

I look back at Charlize.

Her eyes narrow.

“I am here to see Sherlock Holmes.”

“Well you’ve seen him. I’m sure you remember where the door is.”

Charlize stands and for a moment I believe John has scared her away.

But she just comes forward to stand directly in front of John.

“Knowing all I know about you Watson you’d think there would be something of interest in there but no.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“John Hamish Watson, Afghanistan veteran, G.P., porn preference: normal, finances: 10% debt, status: unimportant. Pressure points: Harriet Watson, alcoholic sister and Mary Morstan, current love interest, liar.”

That last bit captures my attention.

I needed to know more.

John’s breathing speeds us.

Charlize smiles down at him before looking at me.

“Come and see me. Alone.”

She brushes past me and down the stairs.

John takes a deep breath and stalks forward to look out the window.

He shakes his head.

“What a bitch.”

Charlize had information I needed.

She might be the key to finding Moran.

I look at John.

“I’m going out.”

“What?”

I grab my coat.

“Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“You’re not going to see that….woman.”

“She has information that might be useful.”

“You’re not going alone.”

“You heard what she said.”

“We either go together or you don’t go at all.”

“Fine. Come along.”

**********************

“I am expected.”

“Your name?”

“Sherlock Holmes.”

I watch as she checks the computer.

“Yes. Please have a seat while security comes to escort you.”

I nod.

John follows me to the chairs.

Security takes a minute to arrive.

We are checked for weapons and once we are cleared, we follow the two men to the elevators.

I look at the key card.

We are dropped off at Charlize’s office, the security guards going back down.

I look at John.

He looks around.

“Hi.”

I look at the female.

Secretary, 32 years old, dark haired, 125 pounds, 5’7, single, looking for the ‘right man’, had had three dates in the last week.

“Hello.” John says with a smile.

He shakes her hand.

She looks at me.

I nod.

“I’m Janine. Charlize will see you in the conference room. Sorry, she said only Mr. Holmes was to go in.”

“It’s alright.”

“Sherlock.”

“I’ll be fine John.”

He stares at me for a moment before nodding.

I walk down the hall.

“Mr. Holmes.” Charlize says looking up from the file she is reading.

“Ms. Magnussen.”

“Have a seat.”

I take the chair to her left.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Haven’t you figured it out already?”

I look at her.

“Surprisingly, you are a hard person to read.”

“I’d be flattered but I am not the first woman you have said that to.”

Irene.

“There is information you have that I want.”

She stares at me.

“Alright. I will give you information if you agree to what I am about to ask you.”

I sit back.

“I am not a young woman, I have sacrificed much for my line of work. Worth it but now I am ready to start sowing some oats, if you will.”

I nod.

“In four days I will be going back home and I am not going alone.”

I frown.

“I still don’t understand.”

“I want a child Mr. Holmes.”

I gape at her.

“I want my son to be bright and beautiful.”

“Well…”

“And since I have the brightest mind in the world, I have chosen you for your beauty.”

I glare at her.

“I know your beauty is not conventional but I find your exotic features quite fetching.”

I clench my fists.

“We do not have to have sex. I know you are still a virgin and I am not attracted to you sexually. I have arranged for you to go to my doctor’s office and make your deposit. Afterwards I will be injected with your sperm and will hopefully become pregnant. Do not worry, I will not ask you to be involved in the child’s life. I would rather you didn’t. You will be compensated for your time of course, and as I have already stated. I will give you information you require, not much but enough to give you a clue.”

“I am flattered but…”

“You were not my first choice but you are the best.”

Even Mycroft might not be able to get me out of the backlash if I hit her.

“Well thank you very much for finding me worthy.”

Her eyes narrow.

I can hear John and Janine laughing.

John.

I look back at Magnussen.

John was going to be furious but it was the only way to get out of this.

“However, I am not free to make this decision.”

“What does that mean? You are not involved in any romantic relationship.”

“None that you know of.”

She stares at me and I know she is reading me.

“You see, John is not interested in Mary Morstan. At least not for the reason you believe.”

“Surely you and John…”

“We’ve been together for five years. Five glorious years.” 

I glance at her.

She is scrutinizing me.

“You lie.”

I smile.

“The best disguise is knowing how to hide in plain sight.”

She slaps her hand down on the table top.

“Get out.”

“Good luck finding someone else as beautiful as me.” I say standing.

She says nothing.

I walk briskly out of the room and down the hall.

“Come alone John.”

“Sherlock, what’s going on?” He asks hurrying after me.

I call the elevator, thankfully it comes quickly.

“What happened? What did that woman want?”

I wait until the doors close and we start our descent to tell him.

“To procreate.”

“What?” He shouts.

“Calm down. I said no.”

“Well…why did she want to have a baby with you?”

I glare down at him.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“What did you mean?”

“It’s just that when people first meet you, their first impression of you isn’t ‘Let’s make a baby.’”

I sigh.

“Some people do.”

“What?” He smiles. “You’re having me on.”

“Nope.”

He stares at me.

“Why did she ask you to have a baby with you?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I am the most brilliant man in all of England.”

No matter what Magnussen thinks.

I pull up the collar of my coat.

“Hmm. And modest too.”

The elevator stops and I walk out as soon as the doors open.

“Is that seriously what she wanted?”

“Yes, of course.”

“And what did you tell her?”

I wait until we are out of the building.

I didn’t want John making a scene in there.

Word would get back to Charlize.

“That I would be glad to provide her with as many children as her heart desired.”

“Really?”

“Of course not John, don’t be stupid.”

He squares his shoulder and clears his throat.

“So what did you say?”

“I told her that I was already in a committed relationship.”

He frowns.

“With who?”

“You.” I say looking down at him.

“What?” He laughs.

“You heard me.” I say walking faster towards the curb.

Cab would pass by in three minutes.

We had to be in position in order to secure it for ourselves.

He hurries after me.

“Sherlock?”

“Hmm?”

“You told her you and me….that we…committed?”

“That was not a question. And yes. For five years.”

“We’ve known each other for three years.”

I smile.

At least he was focusing on the unimportant part of the conversation.

Might be able to avoid a scene until we got home.

“Five.”

“We lived together for three years Sherlock. I think that out of the both of us I would remember that.”

“Five. Just because you thought I was dead for two doesn’t mean we weren’t together.”

I could almost hear him grinding his teeth.

Nope.

He was going to throw a tantrum now.

“Yes it bloody well does mean we weren’t together. We were never together!”

“Shh!”

“Don’t shush me!”

“You’re making a scene.”

“What do you care? You lied about us, about me! Why did you lie?”

“I had to tell her something.”

“And that was the first thing that came into your head?”

“It had to be a lie she would believe.”

“You could have said you were asexual.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered.”

“I am sure she would have understood.”

“No.”

“She can’t force to have a child with her Sherlock.”

“She is the most powerful woman in the world.”

“And? What does that have to with you?”

“I had to spare her feelings so that in case I need a favor she will be more inclined to help.”

“So you faked a relationship with me so that she wouldn’t feel like you were rejecting her because you don’t like her.”

“Exactly. Makes perfect sense.”

I raise my hand as we reach the curb.

“It doesn’t make sense at all.”

“Do try to keep up John.”

“I know why you said it, I just don’t know why you picked me as your pretend boyfriend.”

“Again, makes perfect sense. Two bachelors living together, everyone already thinks we’re together.”

“No they don’t.”

I look back at him as I climb into the cab.

“Oh god.” John groans sitting back in the seat.

“Baker Street.” I tell the cabby.

He nods and puts the car in drive.

“Sherlock.”

I glance at John.

“You, I mean. I don’t want to assume too much but you’ve been with women or a woman before right? I know you said they weren’t your area but then Irene Adler showed up and well. You seemed really smitten with her and you spent all this time alone with her.”

I glance out the window and watch London speed by.

For some reason John’s question bothered me.

My skin prickled with irritation.

I bite my lip before answering.

“Yes.”

“Right. Good. Okay.”

I look at him.

“You do assume too much.”

He opens his mouth but I turn away.

The rest of the ride home is spent in oppressing silence.


	7. Chapter 7

“Dr. Watson is out with Ms. Morstan again I see.”

“Do you see?”

He looks at me.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I need to know all you have on one Mary Morstan.”

“Something the matter?”

“I’ve recently been led to believe that she might not be who she claims to be.”

“Oh? Do you think she is working with Moran?”

“I’ve never met her but you always enjoy spying on people and basically invading their privacy.”

He moves his head in a way that always reminded me of a bird.

It’s like his shirt is too tight around his neck.

I smirk.

My phone beeps and I reach for it.

_Missed me? _–J.M.__

__I sit up in my chair._ _

__“What is it?”_ _

__I stared down at the text._ _

__“Sherlock?”_ _

__I hand him my phone._ _

__“Before you start to panic, how can we be sure that this is Moriarty and not Moran?” He asks handing me back my phone._ _

__He feigns nonchalance but his eyes have narrowed and his shoulders are tense._ _

__“We can’t, not until we find Moran.”_ _

__“Then we best move with due diligence. It would help if you avoided parading around London.”_ _

__“So you’ve said. Many times.”_ _

__“And you have still to listen.”_ _

__“Sherlock!”_ _

__John runs up the stairs and into the flat._ _

__His hair is windswept and he’s panting._ _

__“What is it?” I ask._ _

__He thrust his phone in my face._ _

__Same message I received._ _

__I sigh._ _

__“Yes, I know. I got one too.”_ _

__“What does this mean? I thought you said Moriarty was dead?”_ _

__“He is dead as far as I know.”_ _

__“Then who?”_ _

__“Might be Moran.”_ _

__“But you’re not sure.”_ _

__I shake my head._ _

__“So what are we going to do about this?”_ _

__He looks at me before moving his gaze towards Mycroft._ _

__“Nothing.” I say._ _

__“Nothing? So we’re just going to sit here and wait for Moriarty to start blowing things up?”_ _

__“As I already said, we don’t know that it is Moriarty.”_ _

__“I’ll just make some tea then while we wait.” He snaps._ _

__John and his temper._ _

__“A cup of tea would be lovely, thank you.” Mycroft says with a thin smile._ _

__John glares at him._ _

__“So I take it that the British Government isn’t going to do anything about this?”_ _

__“On the contrary, we are doing all we can. But short of stringing Sherlock up as live bait, I am afraid we must wait until Moran makes his move.”_ _

__“Yes, we already tried that.” I say lifting an eyebrow._ _

__Mycroft smiles thinly again._ _

__John sighs._ _

__He paces a bit before just standing there._ _

__A soldier ready for war._ _

__“How is Mary?” I ask._ _

__“What? Oh, fine.” He says distractedly._ _

__“It doesn’t seem like you were able to fully enjoy your lobster risotto.” Mycroft says._ _

__I stare at him._ _

__Show off._ _

__“How-never mind.”_ _

__John’s phone rings and I stare at him, Mycroft lowers his gaze but I know he is listening in just as intently as I am._ _

__“Hello? Oh, Mary. Yes, yes everything is fine. So sorry to rush out of there like that but something urgent came up.” He walks out into the hall._ _

__Mycroft and I stare at each other._ _

__“John is addicted to danger and adrenalin.”_ _

__Mycroft nods._ _

__“If Mary posed some kind of threat, she could be the kind of woman a man like John would be attracted to.”_ _

__“I will have Anthea look into it. We might not uncover much, any smart person would have an alias.”_ _

__“Doesn’t matter. She has to have stolen that identity from someone. New identities are hard to come by, could be done but then she would have to have ties to the underworld or know people with the power to do it. I need a picture to show them, I am sure you can provide me with one.”_ _

__“Certainly. Is John aware?”_ _

__“He was here when Charlize mentioned it but I think he’s deleted it.”_ _

__“Charlize?”_ _

__“Magnussen. My…admirer.”_ _

__His gaze sharpens._ _

__“I do not want you getting involved with Magnussen.”_ _

__“It was not my intention to.”_ _

__“Make sure it stays that way.”_ _

__I had the urge to call Magnussen up and tell her that I would have that child with her just to spite Mycroft._ _

__But she still made my skin crawl so I would have to agree with my brother on this, for now._ _

__John comes back in._ _

__Mycroft stands._ _

__“It is getting rather late, I better be off.”_ _

__“Right.” John says._ _

__“We’ll be in touch.” Mycroft tells me._ _

__I nod._ _

__He leaves._ _

__John comes and sits in his chair._ _

__“How are you feeling?” He asks me._ _

__“Fine.”_ _

__“I’ll just have a look at your wound then.”_ _

__“No need.”_ _

__“Yes, there is.”_ _

__“It’s fully healed.”_ _

__“Just because it’s scabbed over doesn’t mean that it’s fully healed.”_ _

__“Of course it does.”_ _

__“No arguing. Take off your shirt and unbutton your trousers.”_ _

__“Should I come back?” Lestrade asks from the door._ _

__“Oh god!” John says walking down the hall to the bathroom._ _

__I smirk._ _

__“What is wrong with John?”_ _

__“He’s being dramatic.”_ _

__“You’re rubbing off in him then.”_ _

__“Can we just talk without hinting at anything?” John asks coming back with the first aid kit._ _

__“What are you on about?” Lestrade asks him._ _

__“Nothing, never mind.”_ _

__“What do you want?” I ask._ _

__Lestrade shifts from foot to foot as John kneels beside my chair._ _

__I pull out my shirt from my trousers._ _

__I reach down to unbutton them one handed._ _

__I lift my hips so that I can pull them down a bit, John’s hand bumping against my hip._ _

__“Maybe I should come back.”_ _

__I look at Lestrade._ _

__He looks uncomfortable._ _

__“We are not in the middle of performing a sexual act Inspector, my doctor is being fussy and is checking my healing wound. Besides, John isn’t into voyeurism.”_ _

__“Jesus Sherlock!” John says._ _

__He pinches my thigh._ _

__I slap his hand away._ _

__Lestrade wipes his face with his hand._ _

__“That is not what I was thinking before but thank you so much for that lovely picture.” He says._ _

__“It was perfectly clear that you were thinking it. I did not know that you often thought of John and me in an intimate setting.”_ _

__“What?” John asks looking at Lestrade._ _

__“I do not! Shut up Sherlock, it’s not true. John.” Lestrade denies._ _

__I can see the blush creeping up his face._ _

__I smirk._ _

__John sends a glare my way before looking at Lestrade._ _

__“Ignore him. He’s being a right bastard today.”_ _

__John leans in close to get a good look at my wound and I watch Lestrade._ _

__His eyes glance towards us before skidding away and back again._ _

__“I came over because I got a strange text.”_ _

__“Yes. John and I did as well.”_ _

__“And?”_ _

__“Ignore it.”_ _

__“Who is it from?”_ _

__“Moriarty.” John says rubbing antibacterial cream on my wound._ _

__“Moriarty? I thought he was dead?” Lestrade says instantly alert._ _

__“It’s not Moriarty.” I say._ _

__“It might be.”_ _

__I look down at John._ _

__“Moriarty is dead.” I tell him._ _

__“The way you were dead?” He asks cocking an eyebrow._ _

__He might have a point but it was not possible for Moriarty to have survived an injury of that magnitude at such close range._ _

__“He is dead.” I say with finality._ _

__“Then who?” Lestrade asks._ _

__“Sebastian Moran.”_ _

__“And you are absolutely sure that Moriarty didn’t concoct some fake suicide because he knew you would fake your death?”_ _

__I look at Lestrade._ _

__“You finally learned to ask the right questions. Moriarty was insane, he killed himself to prove a point. I suppose he expected he had left me no choice. But we played him from the start and he was not smart enough to figure out the final problem.”_ _

__“Thank god for that then.” John says standing._ _

__I fix my shirt and my trousers._ _

__“You think Moran is going to try to copy Moriarty?”_ _

__“Might but I do not think he has the mental capacity to. Moran was the muscle to Moriarty’s schemes.”_ _

__I press my hands together and recline my chin on the tips of my fingers._ _

__I know John thought it was my thinking pose._ _

__And it was, to an extent._ _

__But it did not help me ‘think’._ _

__The position of my hands helped me put my thoughts into perspective._ _

__It was a trick Mycroft has taught me when I had been a boy._ _

__All the information I gathered was scattered and I had to put it in order._ _

__The point my hands made helped me focus on a single thing at a time so that I could either dismiss it or file it away for later use._ _

__“What exactly are we dealing here with Sherlock? I don’t want innocent people in the line of fire, not again.” Lestrade says._ _

__John comes back and sits in his chair._ _

__“Moran was trained to be a soldier, he enjoys the violence.”_ _

__John shifts in his chair and I know he is thinking of himself._ _

__“How do you know he enjoys violence?” Lestrade asks and I roll my eyes._ _

__“He is Moriarty’s right hand man, he’d have to. How many people do you think Moriarty has put down? Moran would have been the one in charge of it. Moriarty wouldn’t have trusted anyone else to do it.”_ _

__“So was he the one who would have killed me if you hadn’t jumped?” John asked._ _

__“He would have. But something happened, someone else took his place that day. Otherwise Mycroft would have gotten to him. He didn’t know about our plan, otherwise he would have conveyed it to Moriarty.”_ _

__It bothered me that I hadn’t been able to figure out why he wasn’t there._ _

__He would have been given the privilege to kill John._ _

__After all, Moriarty did promise to burn the heart out of me and everyone knew John was my heart._ _

__“Do you think that maybe he just didn’t go?”_ _

__“Of course not John! He is a soldier, trained to kill. Why would he-oh!”_ _

__Yes._ _

__John was not the prize Moran wanted._ _

__He must have been working with Moriarty for years._ _

__It must have upset him to know that he would not be given a chance to kill the most dangerous man._ _

__So out of spite he ruined Moriarty’s game._ _

__They must have had a fight._ _

__Which is why Moriarty killed himself._ _

__He had one upped the game on Moran._ _

__Moran would never be able to get the upper hand on a dead man._ _

__Now Moran wanted the power and glory for himself._ _

__But he had to show he was strong enough, that he deserved the respect._ _

__“Oh?” Lestrade asks confused._ _

__“Sherlock?” John asks._ _

__“Of course, why didn’t I think of this sooner?”_ _

__I grab my phone._ _

__It wasn’t John. It was never John.-S.H._ _

__“Sherlock?” John asks again._ _

__“Shut up.”_ _

__Then who? –M.H._ _

__You. –S.H._ _

__I look at John and Lestrade._ _

__“Moriarty knew that John was important to me, I proved that at the pool. It’s why he threatened to burn the heart out of me. Same reason why he threatened to kill John first if I didn’t jump. It was my incentive. But Moran is a soldier and what do soldiers do first? They remove the biggest threat and who do we know who would pose the biggest threat?”_ _

__“Mycroft.” John says._ _

__“Exactly! We made Moriarty think that our relationship was almost non-existent. That we did not have a good sibling relationship, especially after Mycroft gave Moriarty information about me. It was perfect and Moriarty ate it all up. But Moran. Moran does not enjoy playing games as much, he prefers security. He must have brought it up and Moriarty had to have tried to convince him that Mycroft was not a threat. But Moran couldn’t have bought that someone like Mycroft could not pose a threat to their Empire.”_ _

__“So what are you saying? Is Moran going to try and kill Mycroft?” Lestrade asks._ _

__“It’s too late. We already know he’s here, there is no way he can try and catch Mycroft unaware or unsecured.”_ _

__“So what now?” John asks._ _

__I look at John._ _

__“We cannot rule out that he won’t try to come for you.”_ _

__“Or you.” He says._ _

__I nod._ _

__“But his main objective has been Mycroft so he will have to be careful. We need to find Moran before he does something stupid.”_ _

__“Hold on. If Moran disagreed with Moriarty, then why did he try to kill you?” Lestrade asks._ _

__“Because I crumbled his Empire. He would have to start over, from the bottom up and now he doesn’t have Moriarty to lead the way. He is angry which is why I am pretty sure he will try and hurt John.”_ _

__“We can’t just sit around and wait.” John insists._ _

__“I’m with John on this.”_ _

__“I told you already. We can’t do anything until he shows himself.”_ _

__“How long will that take?” Lestrade asks._ _

__I look at John._ _

__“How long would it take you if you were being pinned down behind enemy lines? How long before you made a run for safety?”_ _

__“It all depends. If the way out is being secured then I have to plan and execute a distraction. Also depends if I am hurt or in good physical shape.”_ _

__“As far as I know, Moran was in good shape the last time I saw him.”_ _

__“Then if he has already chosen which way he will run, two days at the most I say.”_ _

__I nod._ _

__John thinks two days at the most. –S.H._ _

__Let us hope he is correct. –M.H._ _


	8. Chapter 8

Get to the clinic. –M.H.

Clinic?

I look at John’s chair.

John? –S.H.

Safe. –M.H.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

Moran? –S.H.

Escaped. –M.H.

“Damn!”

Casualties? –S.H.

Just one. Mary Morstan. –M.H.

I cock an eyebrow.

Interesting.

How bad? –S.H.

Grazed shoulder. –M.H.

She saved John’s life. –M.H.

I frown down at my phone.

An unsettling feeling made its home in the pit of my stomach.

I grab my scarf and coat.

“Mrs. Hudson!”

She comes rushing out of her flat.

“What is it?”

“Mrs. Hudson, there has been an incident.”

“Has something bad happened?”

“John. Someone tried to kill him at work.”

“Oh dear.” She gasps.

“Lock the door behind me, don’t let anyone in and stay away from the windows.”

She nods.

I hurry out the door.

At this time of the morning there are an abundance of taxi’s going by Baker Street.

I lift my hand and the taxi stops.

I give the cabby the address before staring out the window.

How could Mary have known Moran would be there?

Better yet, how could she have save John’s life?

“Ugh!”

I pound my fist against my leg.

Moran would have shot to kill, or at the very least, injure severely.

The fact that Mary had escaped with a grazed shoulder meant that she knew the sniper was there and had stepped in at the very last moment.

Moran would not have wasted that bullet unless he was sure that he would hit his mark.

“Sir? We’re here.”

I get out and throw some money at the cabby before hurrying into the building.

I push past police officers and medics.

“John!”

“Sherlock.”

He hurries towards me.

I grab his arms and inspect him.

Mycroft was right.

John was unharmed although a bit shook up.

His left hand was shaking and his eyes looked wild.

He licks his lips.

“Moran was here.”

“Yes. Well, not in the building. He is a sniper, he would have set up across the street. It would give him a good view of your office.”

“Jesus.” He says rubbing his forehead.

“Come.”

I turn and walk away.

“Sherlock. Where are we going? Are we allowed to leave? I haven’t given my statement yet and Mary-”

“You are unharmed, you can give your statement later. We have to take a look at the building across the street.”

“Shouldn’t we tell someone?”

“I’m sure they will figure it out soon enough.”

Are you safe? –S.H.

Shooting at John could have been a distraction. –S.H.

I am perfectly safe. –M.H.

Do not worry about me. –M.H.

Isn’t that what we do? Worry constantly? –S.H.

I am safe Sherlock. Moran cannot get to me at the moment. –M.H.

Good. I wouldn’t want to have to tell Mummy that her little man has been hurt. –S.H.

I smirk.

“You’re brother?” John asks.

“Insists he’s fine and protected.”

I am sure I do not have to tell you to be safe. –M.H.

John is with me. –S.H.

Even more of a reason to tell you to be careful. –M.H.

“Do you think Moran was using me as a distraction?”

“Possible but it is more likely that he intended to kill you.”

“That makes me feel better then.”

I take his handgun out of my coat pocket and hand it over.

“Oh.” He says taking it and inspecting it. “Ta.”

“Which leads me to my other question. How did Mary save you?”

I stare at the entrance to the building before turning to look in the direction of the clinic.

John points out his office.

The shattered window was clear.

Fourth window to the left.

I nod and enter the building.

“I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

“Try to think. What were you doing?”

“I was sitting at the computer looking at my patient’s chart.”

“And then?”

“And then Mary knocked on the door to let me know my patient had arrived and…”

I look at him.

“Yes?”

“I stood up and then she just stepped up behind me and that is when I heard the bullet shatter the glass and Mary shoved me to the floor.”

“Hmm.”

She did know the sniper was there then.

But how?

John’s instinct would have been to turn and look.

Mary knew that which is why she didn’t give him a chance to do so.

John could have died.

Moran had been aiming for his heart.

I shudder and continue down the hall.

“Sherlock. Are you going to tell me what is going on in that huge brain of yours?”

“You know my methods John. I will tell you in due time.”

“You mean when you can insult and marvel me at the same time?”

I turn and smile at him.

“Exactly.”

He huffs.

I stand in front of the door of apartment 18.

“Are you sure this is the right one?”

“Of course.”

“So what now?”

I twist the door handle and the door opens.

I lift an eyebrow at John.

He nods and takes out his gun.

I carefully push the door open.

It is empty.

I walk in.

John looks around, gun ready.

I walk over to the window facing the clinic.

The window is open and the screen has been removed.

There is evidence of where he reclined his riffle against the windowsill.

I crouch down to get a better look.

John comes and stands at my shoulder.

“Moran?”

“On the lose.”

He sighs impatiently.

“He will show himself again John. Do not worry about that.”

“All this waiting is making me anxious.”

“I know.”

“You think he will try to kill me again?”

“No.”

“And Mary?”

“Unimportant.”

He exhales loudly through his nose.

“She saved my life.”

“And?”

“Sherlock.”

I stand and turn to look at him.

“She is not who she says she is and until I can find out more I suggest you stay away from her.”

“What? Mary is not a threat.”

“How do you know?”

I go and take a look around the apartment but it is empty.

Moran would not have left anything behind that I could use to trace him.

How very different from Moriarty.

“She is my friend.”

“She is a nurse who is violating the clinic’s code of conduct. In fact, so are you Doctor.”

“We have been out on a few dates. We haven’t violated anything.”

“Do not think you can lie to me John. You obviously have sexual thoughts about her.”

“Yes, fine. But I still haven’t done anything wrong.”

I shake my head and walk out of the apartment.

“Hold on. Sherlock.”

I ignore John.

Do you have any leads? –S.H.

I climb the stairs to the second floor and stand by the fire escape.

I look up at the stairs.

Moran would not have fled through the roof.

He would have wanted to stay hidden from the CCTV.

I can hear John come up the first two steps and then I am being slammed against the wall.

My side protests and I groan.

“So nice to see you again Sherly.”

“Sherlock!”

John runs up the stairs.

Moran punches my wound and I try to ignore the pain.

I turn in his grip and slam my forehead into his nose.

He curses.

I look at him.

Not much older than John, though he does have more grey in his hair.

5’11, 175 pounds, solid build, brown eyes, light complexion.

He was wearing a suit, much like the one’s Mycroft favored and his hair had been properly combed away from his face.

I kick at his knee but he moves his leg and my foot hits his thigh.

He pulls me towards the fire escape.

I try to resist but he is stronger and heavier than me.

He leads out through the doors and drags me half way towards the edge.

I punch him in the kidneys but his grip does not loosen.

He grabs a fistful of my hair.

“Now you will know what it really feels to fall.” He says harshly.

He pulls me up to my feet.

I look down at the sidewalk below.

Nothing to break my fall if he did manage to throw me over.

I look at Moran.

“He was insane. You know that.”

“Yes. But he was still my friend.”

Friend.

“He didn’t have friends.”

“The way you don’t have friends?” He smirks and shakes his head. 

“He killed himself to mess with your plans.”

“Maybe. But I think he did it for you.”

“Moriarty wanted me dead.”

“No. He wanted you to be his…”

“His what?”

“His everything! I will never forgive you for taking what was mine. Moriarty belonged to me! I was the one who was supposed to capture his attention. But you. I will kill you even if I have to die for it.”

He shoves me backwards.

I scratch at his face and punch him in the throat.

He backhands me.

I hear the gun cock.

“Let him go.” John threatens.

My knees hit the edge of the roof.

I pinwheel my arms to stop myself from falling.

Unfortunately Moran still holds me captive.

“I am glad you are here Watson. You’ll get a second chance at re-living your nightmare.”

“Don’t. I will kill you.” 

“So do it then.” Moran smirks back at John.

He shoves me over the edge.

I grab a hold of his tie and pull him down with me.

I was taller and in a free fall, gravity worked to my favor.

He tumbles over the edge.

“SHERLOCK!”

I’ve already fallen once and this would not be my last.

Last time I had fallen face forward.

This time it was backwards but I was not going to be the first to land onto that pavement.

I grab his arms and twist us around.

At least he could take the brunt of the fall.

His body lands with a sickening thud and I can feel two ribs crack as I land on him.

The wind is knocked out of me and I see stars as I hit my head on the pavement.

I groan and roll onto my back.

I can hear people around us.

“SHERLOCK!”

I close my eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

I blink my eyes open.

Grey walls stare back at me.

I groan.

How hateful.

“Sherlock?”

John leans over me.

“How do you feel?”

“Much better than the last time I was in here.”

He reclines his forehead against my shoulder.

“I have a list.”

I frown.

“Hmm?”

He lifts his head.

“A list of things I never want to experience twice.”

“Oh.”

“You falling off that roof was at the top.”

“Guess you’ll have to make a revised list then.”

He grabs my face and kisses my forehead.

This was unexpected.

“You bloody idiot.”

“I didn’t jump this time, I was pushed.”

“That’s what you get for running off without waiting for me.”

“You were being slow.”

His body shakes.

He was laughing.

He rests his cheek against my head.

“Don’t you ever do this to me again Sherlock. Not ever.”

“I will try not to get pushed over roof tops.”

“Good.”

He sits back down in the chair.

I look at him.

He sighs and rubs his face.

“You should go and get some proper rest.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you are not.”

“No. But I will be now that you are awake.”

“Good. You are awake. Doctor Watson.”

I look at my brother.

He glares back at me.

“Mycroft.” John says.

Mycroft looks at him.

“Might I have a moment with my brother?”

John looks at me before nodding and walking out.

Mycroft waits until he is sure John is out of earshot.

“You really don’t know how to stop being so stupid can you?”

His tone is harsh and his eyes are dark with anger.

I cock an eyebrow at him.

I have not seen him this angry since I suggested to Mummy that she should send Mycroft to fat camp.

“Do you know how many ways you could have died?”

“The possibilities did cross my mind. However, I really didn’t have a choice in the matter.”

He purses his lips before relaxing his shoulders.

He looks down at his umbrella.

“Yes. You and your miscalculations.”

I clench my hands into the bed sheet.

“Oh come off it Mycroft. You didn’t know Moran was still there either.”

“Quite right but I was not the one who was thrown off a building.”

“It wasn’t the same.”

“Still deadly.”

“I’m still here aren’t I?”

“That is not the point Sherlock.”

He was worried.

Had been completely terrified that I would not survive.

I clear my throat.

We Holmes had never been too good at emotions.

Well, Mycroft and I had never been too good at emotions.

“I am sorry.”

He stares at me, surprise evident on his face.

“Thank you. I am glad you are well.”

“And you.”

He nods.

“Moran is dead.” He says.

He was stating the obvious.

Which meant that he wanted us to delete that we had shared a heartfelt moment.

“I thought as much when he cracked open his skull on the pavement.”

“Don’t be smart Sherlock.”

“That takes me back. ‘Don’t be smart Sherlock, I’m the smart one.’” I say pitching my voice higher.

He glares at me.

“I am the smart one.” 

“I used to think I was an idiot.”

He smiles.

“Both of us thought you were an idiot Sherlock. We had nothing else to go on, until we met other children.”

“Oh yes, that was a mistake.”

Mummy had insisted that we attend play dates with children our age.

She learned not to do that again.

“Ghastly. What were they thinking of?”

“Probably something about trying to make friends.” 

“Oh yes. ‘Friends’. Of course you go in for that sort of thing now.”

“And you don’t? Ever?”

“If you seem slow to me Sherlock, can you imagine what real people are like? I’m living in a world of goldfish.”

I look at him.

Really look.

He had lost weight and had been overly emotional lately. 

First because of the opera and now because he thought I was seriously injured.

Could be the cigarettes but that only ever made him cough and sweat.

Mycroft only became this emotional when there was the prospect of a romantic relationship.

But who?

“Yes but I’ve been away for two years.”

“So?”

“Oh I don’t know. I thought perhaps you might have found yourself a…goldfish.”

I quirk my lips.

He instantly schools his expression into one of disinterest.

He moves to sit in the chair.

“Change the subject, now.”

I sigh.

“The threat from Moran and Moriarty is finally finished. They are both dead and we can once again go on hoping for the abnormal and bizarre.”

“Ooh-hoo!” Mrs. Hudson says knocking on her way in.

“Speaking of which.” Mycroft mutters.

I chuckle under my breath.

“So sorry to interrupt. Sherlock, I can’t believe you landed yourself in the hospital again. Stop being so careless dear and think of what this does to poor John. He is getting on in his years you know, all this excitement can’t be good for him. I am just so glad you are alright. Isn’t it wonderful Mr. Holmes that he is much unharmed?”

“Yes, I can barely contain myself.”

“Oh he really can you know.” I tell her.

Mycroft was very good at appearing displeased when inside he was squealing like a little girl.

“He’s secretly pleased to see you alive and well underneath all that.” She says turning away.

“Sorry, which of us?” Mycroft asks her.

“Both of you.”

“Right. I’ll be getting back to work.”

“Come now Mycroft, surely you can visit for a little while more.”

And give me a chance to find out who this mysterious goldfish is.

“So sorry to disappoint you little brother but the work of a government official is never done, not even for someone is such a minor position as myself. Good day.” He says nodding at Mrs. Hudson.

He won’t be able to hide it forever.

I just had to wait it out.

************************

I lie down in my bed.

“So does this mean that you are going to sleep here with me again?”

“I might. Will there be a problem with that?”

I shrug.

“No.”

“Good.”

He takes the tray.

I close my eyes.

I hear him turn off the lights and lock the doors.

He goes into the bathroom and comes into my room a few moments later.

I open my eyes.

He crawls into bed.

I turn my head to look at him.

He closes his eyes with a sigh.

It was nice.

I never wanted to share a bed with someone else before.

With John it felt natural.

It felt right.

“You can stay here.”

“In case you didn’t notice, I already am in the bed with you.”

“I meant that you could stay here with me, indefinitely.”

“I don’t intend to be a bachelor forever Sherlock.”

“I didn’t say you would be.”

He opens his eyes and turns his head to look at me.

“What?”

“You could stay here with me, in this flat and in my bed. Just the two of us for an indefinite period.”

He frowns.

“I’m not gay.”

I sigh feeling exasperated.

“So you keep saying. Over and over.”

“Then why-”

“Those two years without you gave me time to think. I was always alone, I was used to it and I preferred it that way. I didn’t think that three years with you would have changed that. But I found myself thinking of you all the time. I started to think you were there with me.”

He turns on his side to face me.

“I would talk with you and you talked back. It made me feel better knowing you were there with me. I didn’t feel so alone.”

He swallows.

“I meant what I said that day. Alone does protect me. At least, it used to. Alone was after all I had. Until you managed to fit yourself into my life.”

He sighs shakily.

“I’m not good at this.”

I nod.

“I regretted never telling you that…you…you saved my life that day. You saw me, you knew all about me…and you gave me a reason to continue living. You are my best friend and I don’t want to have to live this life without you. You are the best and greatest man I have ever known Sherlock Holmes.” He whispers fiercely.

I grab his hand.

His fingers curl against mine.

My heart was beating fast in my chest and I felt out of breath.

Couldn’t be the cracked ribs.

I look at John.

He smiles sleepily at me.

My hands shake.

“I have this sudden urge to kiss you.” I tell him.

His hand slips from mine.

“I’m-”

“Not gay, yes. So you keep saying. But I have often proved to be the exception to the rule.”

He sighs.

“Sherlock.”

Rejection.

“Forget it.”

I turn my head away.

I put my hand on my chest.

My chest felt tight.

“No. Listen.”

“What?”

He moves closer and I look at him.

He looks down at me.

“I love you but-”

“What?”

“Sherlock, I don’t want to have sex with you.”

I frown.

Sex?

No.

“I don’t want to have sex with you either.”

“But you just said-”

“I said I wanted to kiss you.”

“Kissing can lead to sex.”

I shrug.

“What are you saying then?”

“I want you to sleep here with me all the time and I have the urge to kiss you. That is all. Maybe I will want to have sex with you later, but not right now. Friends kiss each other don’t they?”

I believe I had seen friends greeting each other with a kiss.

“Not on the mouth.”

On the mouth, on the cheek. Same thing.

But if John wanted to put a distinction between friendly kissing and intimate kissing so be it.

“Fine. Then we can start with kissing each other’s cheek and then we can see where that goes. I am glad we talked about this. Good night.”

“Hold on. I never said I agreed.”

“But you will.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you want to know what it’s like to kiss me, no matter how much you deny it. You know you can’t hide it from me.”

“Tosser.”

I smile.


	10. Chapter 10

“Look, here he comes.” John tells Lestrade.

“About bloody time.” Lestrade complains.

I roll my eyes.

“You are lucky I even bothered to come. I told you, nothing less than a seven.”

“We don’t have anything to go on.” He says.

“Not surprising considering all the idiots on your team. And look, Anderson isn’t even here to bring that number up.”

“Are you going to help or not?”

“Are you going to ask stupid questions?”

“I might.”

“I thought as much.”

“Just calm down you two, we haven’t even started.” John says.

“John.”

He had come straight from the clinic and therefore gotten to the scene before me.

I had been at the morgue with Molly when Lestrade had texted me.

I bend down to kiss John on the cheek before moving to take a look at the body.

“What just happened?” Lestrade asks, humor and confusion evident in his voice.

Without even looking I can tell that John’s face is beet red.

“What’s this then? The Freak finally decide to announce he and John are shagging?” Donovan says laughing.

“I think the question here is how you still have your job after making Scotland Yard look so ridiculous and incompetent in front of the press. You made a scandal Sally and in the end you were wrong. Didn’t you hear? I am their hero.”

She presses her lips together angrily.

“I believe an apology is in order. John?” I ask looking at him.

“Definitely.”

I stare at Donovan.

“I was not the only one who accused you. Anderson-”

“Founded the Empty Hearse Fan Club and already apologized. Apparently he believes in Sherlock Holmes.” I say smiling at her.

I knew it would piss her off even more.

“He did?” John asks.

“Yes.”

I had run into him at the morgue where he had pretended not to be stalking me before breaking down into a hysterical sobbing mess and gave me his sincere apologies.

“Go on then.” Lestrade tells her.

“Sir!”

“Now Donovan.”

She glares at me.

“Forgive me for the scandal I caused and for trashing your name and reputation.”

“See? That wasn’t so hard was it? Now get out of the way.”

She stalks off.

I stand over the body.

Male, 56 years old, gunshot wound to the head.

Impeccable clothing, expensive Italian shoes.

Gold watch, rings and wallet still on victim’s body.

Not a robbery then.

“Who called it in?” John asks moving to inspect the body.

I stand and look around.

Back entrance of the house, made sense.

The garage was in the back of the house.

A car as nice and expensive as that wouldn’t be parked in the street.

“Victims daughter. She’s been living here for six months.”

Daughter.

“How old?” I ask.

“26.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Yes. He arrived fifteen minutes after we did.”

“And the daughter?”

“Claimed to have just arrived home and found her father dead.”

“He’s been dead for two hours at the most.” John says.

“What time was it called in?”

“An hour ago.”

From the house, the cars and the expensive clothes it was obvious that this man had money.

I walk into the house and take a look around.

Everything was in its place, everything except for the office.

It was obvious that the papers and the drawers had been disturbed.

The painting had been moved.

I take a look a look behind it and find the safe.

I smile.

The safe was unlocked and contents had been removed.

Stupid.

It was a robbery.

But the robbers had not wanted the wallet or the jewelry.

No.

They had wanted something of much bigger value.

A man of such wealth would not have been stupid to have cash on hand.

Anyone would know that, anyone except a person who did not know the type of person our victim was.

Pictures in abundance throughout the house.

An urn on the mantle, picture of a woman.

The wife.

No pictures of a daughter.

I climb the stairs and look at the rooms.

I shake my head and go back down.

I walk out of the house.

John looks at me.

“Where is the daughter now?” I ask Lestrade.

“Boyfriend came to drive her down to the station.”

“Better get a car to track them down. I can assure you that they are fleeing the country.”

“What?” Lestrade and John ask in unison.

Lestrade takes out his radio.

“Alright.” He says after he is done making the call. “Tell me.”

“Tell me what you can see on our victim.”

“Gunshot wound.”

I roll my eyes.

“You’re not even trying.”

“Fine. Uhh, expensive clothes.”

“You’re getting warmer.”

“He still has his wallet.” John says.

“Exactly! He still has all his valuables on him.”

“So it’s not a robbery?” Lestrade asks.

“It is a robbery, they just didn’t want what he was carrying on his person.”

“Then what did they want?” John asks.

“Daughter claims she came home to find the father dead. You said she has been living in this house for the past six months.”

“That’s right.”

“You have daughters. If they were living with you would you know they were there?”

“Of course.”

“How?”

“Well, they always leave a mess in the bathroom and they leave their stuff all over the house.”

“There are no signs of a woman living in this house, there are no signs that anyone beside our victim inhabits this home. There are pictures but none of the daughter. Estranged daughter then. If they had buried the hatchet and started to have a better relationship, so good that she decided to move in with her father, he would have made an effort. A parent likes to put up photographs of their children, if not for themselves then at least for guests to see. Also, there are plenty of rooms available in the house only one of which is being used. If the daughter had been living here for six months there would be evidence of it.”

“Then why would she say that?” John asks.

“A lie to cover up the murder.”

“Hold on. You’re saying that the daughter killed her father?” Lestrade asks.

“Of course that’s what I am saying. Where did you think I was going with this?”

“How do you know it was the daughter? Besides her lying about living here I mean.” John says.

“Look around, it’s obvious our victim has plenty of money. Even an idiot can see that. Estranged daughter comes to her father for help but he refuses. She somehow knew he had a safe in his office, first place she looked. But our victim wasn’t stupid. He knew that is the first place robbers would look. So daughter knows there is a safe but does not know that her father is cautious enough not to keep cash on hand. Oh how disappointed she must have been. She took what she found, had to have had some value otherwise she wouldn’t have bothered.”

“So you think he caught her?” Lestrade asks looking down at the victim.

“Them. The boyfriend was obviously in on it. He is the alibi to her lies.”

“So he comes home and catches his daughter and her boyfriend leaving the house with his stuff.” John says.

“Poor bastard.” Lestrade says.

“They clean up the mess they made in the office, clear any traces of their being here and then call it in.”

“Why would they call it in though? I mean, if they had already gotten what they wanted?” John asks.

“Wife is dead. Only daughter would have been the first person the police would have contacted and interviewed. This way they can get the questioning out of the way and go and enjoy the little they got off of him. I doubt he left her anything in his will.”

“Why do you say that?” John asks me.

“If she wanted to cash in her inheritance then the murder is accounted for but if he was leaving her money, why bother robbing him?”

“To make it look like a robbery?” Lestrade says.

“By cleaning up the crime scene and leaving his wallet and expensive jewelry?” I ask.

“You make a good point.” He concedes.

“Of course I do. Now go do your job. You’ve got murderers on the run. Come along John.”

“I still need your official statement!” Lestrade calls after us.

“I just gave it to you.” I call back.

John walks quickly beside me.

“You were amazing.”

“It was pretty obvious.”

“Still.”

I smile down at him.

“Thank you.”

He nods.

**********************

“Why are we even here?” Mycroft whines.

“Because it’s Christmas and we are celebrating Sherlock’s return.” Mummy tells him.

I smirk.

“Sherlock, I am so glad you brought John.” Father tells me.

“Yes.”

“Who is that lovely woman he brought with him?” Mummy asks.

“Mary Morstan.”

Mycroft glances at me.

“And who is she?” Father asks.

A liar.

“His girlfriend.”

“So your little plan to keep him for yourself didn’t work out?” Mycroft asks with a smirk.

Mummy raps his knuckles with her wooden spoon.

“Be nice to your brother.”

He glares at her.

Anthea chuckles into her spiced cider.

“Why are you here?” I ask her.

“I’m Mycroft’s friend.” She says with a straight face.

He was trying to throw me off the scent of his favorite goldfish.

I look at Mycroft.

He cocks an eyebrow.

“I thought you and John were together?” Father asks.

I sigh.

This was going to be a very long weekend.

I don’t even know why I agreed to this.

“We are just friends. Apparently.”

Mary and John come into the cottage, their laughter grating on my last nerve.

“How did you enjoy your walk?” Mother asks.

“It is very lovely here.” Mary says.

“I am very glad that you are all here. I know that officially Christmas isn’t until tomorrow but I just can’t wait.” John says.

I sit up straight.

Don’t be stupid John.

Mycroft puts his hand on my knee under the table.

I resist the urge to smack it away.

“Mary.”

He takes out the little black box from his coat pocket.

My throat tightens considerably.

“I want to know if you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with me.” He says opening the box and showing her the ring inside of it.

Mary gasps.

Anthea rolls her eyes.

She glances at me, a soft smile on her face.

Father puts his hand on my shoulder.

Mummy bites her lip.

“Oh John, of course I do. I love you very much.”

“Good, that’s good. I love you too, Mary.” John says.

He places the ring on her finger.

She hugs him and kisses him.

I avert my gaze.

“Congratulations.” Mummy says quietly.

“Yes.” Father says.

“Sherlock?” John asks.

I look at him as I stand from the table.

“I am sure you two will be able to be happy together.”

“You will be at the wedding of course.” Mary says.

“I don’t do weddings. Excuse me.”

I grab my coat and step outside.

Mycroft appears at my shoulder shortly after.

He holds out a cigarette.

I look back at him and he stares back.

I take it.

“Thanks.”

He nods.

He lights his own cigarette before lighting mine.

I take a deep inhale.

We stand in silence for a moment. 

“I have a job offer I would like you to decline.”

I frown.

He was usually forcing me to take his job offers.

“I decline your kind offer.”

“I shall pass on your regrets.”

I turn to look at him.

“What was it?”

“MI6. They want to place you back into Eastern Europe. An undercover assignment that will prove fatal to you in, I think, six months.”

John was going to leave.

What was the point of me staying here without him?

“They why don’t you want me to take it?”

“It’s tempting but on balance, you have more utility closer to home.”

I scoff.

“Utility. How do I have utility?”

John wouldn’t need me anymore.

Mary made him happy.

He would not put me above her, not like he had done with his other girlfriends.

“Are you two smoking?” Mummy suddenly calls from the front door.

Mycroft and I turn to face her, our cigarettes hidden behind our backs.

“No.” Mycroft says.

“It was Mycroft.” I add.

She glares at us.

“Don’t be long. Dinner will be ready soon.”

She closes the door.

I take another drag of my cigarette.

Mycroft starts coughing.

I roll my eyes.

“This isn’t agreeing with me.” He says frowning at the cigarette.

“You need low tar. You still smoke like a beginner.”

He crushes the cigarette with his shoe.

“I’m going in.” He says.

“Fine.”

“You coming?”

“I’ll be a while.”

He nods and turns to walk up the front steps.

“By the way, your loss would break my heart.” He says turning to look at me.

I choke on the smoke I had just inhaled.

I glare at him.

“What the hell am I supposed to say to that?”

He shrugs.

“Merry Christmas?” 

“You hate Christmas.”

“Yes. Perhaps there was something in the punch.” He smiles.

He was definitely in love.

“Clearly. Go have some more.”

I wait until he has gone back inside before taking out my phone.

I have been thinking about you. –S.H.

I’ve been thinking about you. –C.A.M.

Are you still willing? –S.H.

Are you making me an offer? –C.A.M.

I want to give you a Christmas present. –S.H.

And what are you giving me for Christmas, Mr. Holmes? –C.A.M.

What you wanted. –S.H.

Are you certain that your little doctor won’t mind? –C.A.M.

Don’t worry about John. –S.H.

Do you still want it? –S.H.

If your offer is sincere and you will not back out again, then yes. –C.A.M.

Tell me when and where and I will be there. –S.H.

I will be in contact soon. C.A.M.

I take one last drag of my cigarette before going back inside.


	11. Chapter 11

I watch as John carries the boxes with his belongings into the living room.

I turn my head away and stare at the bookcase.

“You gonna be alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just that you’re not very good at taking care of yourself.”

I stand and pace to the window.

I was angry.

It was inexplicable yet still so very true.

I clench my teeth before answering.

“In case you have forgotten, I managed to survive for years without you. I doubt you’ve forgotten the last two.”

He clears his throat.

“Right.”

“John dear, your taxi is here.” Mrs. Hudson says.

I close my eyes.

“I better get my things down then. You gonna help me?” He asks me.

I ignore him.

He sighs and walks down the stairs.

He makes two trips before carrying the last of his things down to the waiting cab.

“Sherlock.” Mrs. Hudson says.

“Hmm?”

“Can’t you just apologize?”

“He’s not leaving because I made him angry, he’s leaving because….because he’s engaged.”

“Engaged? To who?”

“Someone hateful.”

“Well what’s his name?”

“Mary.”

“But that’s a woman’s name.”

“That’s it.” John says coming back up.

“John. I just can’t believe you’re leaving. This is your home.” Mrs. Hudson sniffs.

“I’ll still be around.”

I roll my eyes.

Right.

“Sherlock says you’re engaged?”

“Yes.”

“To a woman?”

“Yes.”

“But, well. A woman?”

“Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Well I know you went out on dates with women but they were never anything serious. I just thought you and Sherlock had an open relationship.”

“For the last time Mrs. Hudson, Sherlock and I were never a couple.”

No. 

We weren’t.

“Best not to keep John from moving on with his new life.” I say.

“Come on, don’t be like that. Just because I’m moving out doesn’t mean that we won’t be friends.” He says coming closer.

Friends.

I am finding that word detestable at the moment.

“Quite right.” I say turning from the window.

I look at him.

“So, I’ll see you later?” He smiles.

My heart clenches painfully.

Inexplicable physical symptoms. 

Heart rate was elevated, my hands were shaking and my stomach felt…tight and uncomfortable.

I shrug.

“Whenever you have time. I wouldn’t want to be the reason of why your relationship didn’t work this time. As you have reminded me before, the life of John Watson doesn’t revolve around Sherlock Holmes.” 

My face heats up and I feel lightheaded.

I walk towards my room.

“Sherlock.” Mrs. Hudson says.

“It’s fine Mrs. Hudson. He’ll get over it.”

I slam my door close.

I recline against it and try to bring my breathing under control.

I hear John descend the stairs.

My eyes burn and I blink away the moisture.

Stupid.

I didn’t need John.

I managed to survive without him, I will learn to do so again.

I lie down on my bed.

I squeeze my eyes shut.

John.

********************

I lie back into the couch as the cocaine races through my veins.

I sigh.

Someone was banging on the door.

I ignore it.

I stare at the ceiling.

I can feel my thoughts begin to slow down and I close my eyes and enjoy the quiet of it all.

I can hear a soft melody begin to play in my head.

I had to remember to write that down.

I hum to myself.

“Sherlock?”

Why couldn’t they just give me a moment of peace?

Why do people insist on bothering me when all I wanted was to forget that I was alone?

“Sherlock? Are you alright dear?”

“Go away!”

“I’m really worried about you.”

I sigh angrily.

“Sherlock?”

I grab the nearest thing and throw it at the door.

It shatters spectacularly.

I watch the pieces of glass fall to the floor.

The light reflected off of them so beautifully.

I bite my lip to stop myself from crying.

“I’m calling your brother young man.”

“Just leave me ALONE!”

I cross my arms over my head.

Maybe this will help me block out the noise.

It was no use.

Mycroft was going to insist on being a nag and a bore.

I look at the place where John’s chair used to be.

I drag myself to my feet.

Homeless network would hide me out for a few days.

I go to my room and put on a pair of sweat pants and an oversized hoodie. I drag the trainers out from under my bed.

I had bought them for a case but hadn’t used them.

Well they would be useful now.

I pull the hoodie up over my head.

I walk back out into the living room.

I stare at my phone.

Best to leave it behind.

I sneak quietly down the stairs.

I can hear Mrs. Hudson talking urgently on the phone.

I slowly open the front door.

CCTV camera was not pointed in my direction yet.

Perfect.

I close the door softly behind me before walking down the sidewalk and blending into the crowd.

“Got any spare change?”

“Hello Billy.”

“Mr. Holmes, sir.”

“I need a place to hide out for a few days.”

“There is a house, it’s mostly used by drug addicts and what not. I can take you.”

“Thank you.”

He nods and turns.

I follow him looking out for any of Mycroft’s minions.

“I thought you stopped shooting up.”

I look at Billy.

“Sorry?”

“You’re sweating and your hands are shaking. Pupils are dilated and you keep looking around like you’re being chased. It’s obvious that you’re high.”

I smile.

“Nice observation skills Billy.”

“Thank you. Anyway, I thought you didn’t do this sort of stuff anymore? That doctor you’re shacked up with was very clear that we weren’t to sell you anything.”

 

“Don’t worry about him. He’s out of the picture.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

He is silent for the rest of the way.

We are careful to keep out of view from the CCTV cameras.

Mycroft must know by now.

No doubt that he’s recruited John.

John.

No.

I was not going down that path again.

We arrive at the house just a little after sunset.

I take one of the empty beds and I sleep.

I pass most of my days this way.

I try to keep my drug habit to a minimum.

I did need to be able to make an escape if Mycroft did manage to find me here.

I roll onto my side and pull my hoodie up.

I drowse for a bit.

“Well, well, well.”

I open my eyes.

“I knew I’d find you here.”

I roll onto my back and stare up at Lestrade.

“Then what took you so long?”

“I wanted to give you a chance to go home on your own.”

“What do you want?”

“Your brother and John are worried sick over you.”

“Hmm. Is that all?”

“Get up.”

“I think I’ll stay here thanks.”

“It wasn’t a request.”

I stare up at him.

He glares back.

I sit up.

“Don’t tell me you were worried.”

“Of course I was worried! Do you know how long you’ve been missing?”

“Couldn’t have been more than a few days and I wasn’t missing. I just wanted to be left alone.”

“It’s been three weeks!”

Weeks?

Not possible.

“You sure?”

He sighs angrily.

“If you didn’t look so damn pathetic I would punch you in the face.”

“Thank you for that then.”

“Come on. It’s time for you to go home and face the music.”

He helps me stand up and I sway for a moment.

“Jesus kid. What if the hell where you thinking? You said you were going to stop being so careless with your life.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve recently fallen from a roof top. Twice.”

“That was to save your friends. Which you seem to have forgotten at the moment. Who is your drug habit helping? Hmm? Answer me that genius.”

I choose not to say anything.

He drives me back to Baker Street.

I take a moment before stepping out of the car.

I stare at the door.

221B.

I follow Lestrade inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it wasn’t originally my plan to cut it there but the chapter would have gone on for too long.


	12. Chapter 12

“Oh Sherlock.” Mrs. Hudson says tearfully before coming over to hug me.

I pat her back.

“I’m fine.”

“I am very cross with you young man.”

“Apparently you’re not the only one.”

“Go on then.” Mrs. Hudson says pushing me towards the stairs.

Each step I take feels heavier than the last.

“Well then, look who decided to come home.” John says.

He has a small smile on his face but his eyes are angry.

I look at Mycroft.

Lestrade is standing near the desk, his arms crossed.

Mycroft is seated in my chair.

He stares back at me.

“Where the hell have you been?” John asks.

“I was perfectly safe.” I say waving him away.

“Safe?” He demands.

“I am very disappointed in you.” Mycroft says.

“What else is new?”

“It’s not funny Sherlock.” Lestrade says.

“Really? I thought we were all having fun!”

“Stop it! You have no right to get defensive about this.” John says.

“It is you who has no right to try and dictate my life.” I tell them.

“We are your friends. We worry about you.” Lestrade says.

“How lovely. Thank you for stopping by.” I say waving at the door.

“You know what will happen if you continue on this way.” Mycroft says.

“Are you threatening me?”

“No. I am merely reminding you. Mummy and Father have been advised and they are willing to do what it takes.”

I bite my lip.

I wanted to hit Mycroft so badly.

It would certainly stop him from being so superior at me.

“Get out.”

“Sherlock.” Lestrade starts.

I hold up my hand.

He sighs.

“Take care of yourself. By the way, you are grounded.”

I look at him.

“What?”

“You heard me. No cases for two weeks.”

“That’s what you always say.”

“Well this time I mean it.”

“We’ll see.”

He nods at John and Mycroft before walking to the door.

He stops and comes towards me.

He throws his arms around my shoulders and I tense.

“I am glad that you are alive you bloody idiot.”

I pat his back.

He moves back and places his hands on my shoulders.

“If you scare me like that again I will find a way to arrest you.”

I smile and nod.

He walks out.

Mycroft stands.

“You can imagine how upset Mummy was to hear that her darling boy was at his old habits.”

“Save it Mycroft.”

“I am your brother and I will do all I can to save you from yourself.”

I scoff.

“Oh please. All you care about is control.”

“I am not trying to control you Sherlock, I am trying to help you.”

“Didn’t it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t want your help?”

“Oddly enough, no.”

“Just go, now.”

He stands in front of me.

“If you do this again, I will send you back to that facility. I am sure you remember what it was like.”

I shiver.

I clench my fists.

I was never going back to that hell hole.

“Don’t test me when I’m high Mycroft.”

“Don’t underestimate what I am willing to do to keep you safe Sherlock.”

We glare at each other.

John clears his throat.

Mycroft looks back at John before looking at me.

“I will inform our parent’s that you have been found. John. Sherlock.”

John nods.

I go and sit in my chair.

John closes the door before turning to glare at me.

“Go on. Say your part and then kindly let yourself out.”

Because I can’t even look at you.

I stare into the fireplace.

“I will. But first we are going to Bart’s.”

I look at him in surprise.

Bart’s?

“What? Why?”

“Because you are going to pee into a jar.”

I roll my eyes.

“I am not denying that I am high.”

“Doesn’t matter. I want to know exactly what you have been up to. Now get up.”

He pulls out his mobile.

“Molly. Hi, it’s John.”

***********************

Molly stands in front of me.

I stare back at her.

She slaps me.

I blink my eyes.

She slaps me again.

“Molly.” John says.

She purses her lips and slaps me again.

“How dare you throw away the beautiful gifts you were blessed with? And how dare you betray the love of your friends! Say you’re sorry.”

Last time I had seen Molly, she had been wearing an engagement ring.

However, the impact of her hand on my cheek lacked a certain bite.

Which means that she is no longer wearing a ring.

Would explain her anger and the teary eyes.

“Sorry your engagement’s over. Though I’m fairly grateful for the lack of ring.”

I rub my cheeks.

It had been a while since I’d been slapped.

Though the sting at least did help me come out of the cloud the cocaine had provided.

“Stop it. Just stop it.”

She looks ready to hit me again.

“Molly. Can I have a moment with Sherlock?” John says.

She glares at me one last time before walking out.

I don’t see how it was my fault that her relationship hadn’t worked out.

John paces away angrily before walking back towards me.

“If you were anywhere near this kind of thing again you could have called, you could have talked to me.”

“Of course I couldn’t. Don’t be stupid.”

“I am your friend. I had hoped you had learned to trust me.”

“I do trust you but this isn’t about you, it’s about me.”

“It affects me too!”

“How? You left remember?”

“No. I am not going to let you make me feel guilty for moving on with my life.”

“Guilt? Is that what this is about?”

“No Sherlock, this is about you being stupid for thinking that cocaine is the answer to your problems!”

“Not the answer, no. But it helps me forget that I don’t have an answer.”

“You sound like Harry. Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you trust me to understand?”

“Would you have understood?”

“I am your friend. How many times do I have to bloody repeat it for you to understand?”

“I am an addict, I have always been an addict and I can tell you with certainty that I will continue to be one for however long I live.”

“That is not-”

“I thought you wanted to talk?”

“Fine. Talk.”

“Of course you can understand addiction. What with you being an addict as well.”

He crosses his arms and thins his lips.

“You’ve gotten into three physical altercations in the last month.”

“This isn’t about me.”

“No. This is about you trying to make yourself feel better for abandoning me by helping me cope with addiction.”

“I didn’t abandon you!”

“It doesn’t stop me from feeling like you did!”

“Good. Now you know what I felt for those two years when you were gone!”

“So this is revenge. I did it to save you!”

“And I left because I am in love. I want a life.”

“So the life you had with me wasn’t enough then?”

“I am not young anymore Sherlock. I can’t keep chasing after criminals with you forever. It’s time I settle down and have a normal life.”

“That isn’t what you really want or what you need. You’re an addict remember? One month in the suburbs and you’ve already gone looking for danger.”

“I’ll learn to live with it.”

“Then you’re going to have to learn with my addiction.”

“No. I am not going to let you continue to harm yourself like this.”

“There is nothing you can do about it.”

“Yes there is.”

“Face it John. The moment you walked out of our flat you lost all power over my life. You’re not there anymore remember? You can’t be on me all the time to do this, pick up that. You’ve moved on.”

“I am still your FRIEND!”

“You’ve moved on with your LIFE!”

“Doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you!”

“What was I supposed to say?”

“Anything.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered.”

“I would have come to you.”

“For how long?”

“As long as it took.”

“Really? I highly doubt that.”

“It is the truth.”

“What if I would have asked you to come home?”

His blinks his eyes.

I can see moisture gathering in the corner of his eyes.

My words hurt him.

“Would that have helped? What if I told you I need you in order to function?”

“Why can’t you just let me help you?” He whispers fiercely.

“Your problem John is that you still believe that you need me more than I need you.” I look him in the eyes. “It’s not true.”

He breathes deeply, trying to control his emotions.

“I wanted you not to be dead.”

“Yeah well, be careful what you wish for.”

“I will never regret the life I had with you.”

“Thank you for that I suppose.”

I glance away from him.

“Sherlock.” He says placing his hand on my shoulder.

A tear escapes my eye against my will.

All these emotions and none willing to be deleted.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“We can work this out. We can help you get the treatment you need.”

I shake my head.

“I can’t…I can’t do it John. I don’t know how. Forgive me.”

“What?”

“Forgive me for all the hurt I caused you.”

“Sherlock?”

“I didn’t call you because….because I know I cause you more harm than good. Because it’s my fault that you can’t find the happiness you need.”

“That’s not true.”

“I always ruin everything.”

“Stop it. Yes you were a tit sometimes but I put you above those women. That was on me.” 

“I love you John.”

He stares up at me.

“I love you too.”

“No. I am in love with you.”

“Sherlock.”

“I don’t know how to live without you and I don’t know how to delete you were ever there. I am sorry but I think it is best if we stop this. I can’t be your friend and I can’t be happy knowing you will spend your life with someone else. I’m sorry John.”

I turn and walk away.

“Sherlock!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the angst in this chapter but they needed to put it all out on the table. There is a happy ending, I promise.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of this first half of the series. Thank you for reading and I hope you have enjoyed the journey so far.

One Month Later

“Sherlock.”

I look at Mrs. Hudson who is hovering in the doorway.

“What is it?”

“There is a woman here to see you.”

“Fine. Let her in.”

I stand from my chair and fix my jacket.

“Mr. Holmes.” Magnussen says entering.

I stare at her for a moment.

“Surprised to see me?” She smiles. “Good.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I have come to give you the happy news.”

“Alone?”

“Of course not. But I thought we might need some privacy. I’ve got my guard standing watch over the door.”

She sits on the sofa.

She studies me.

“I see that I must add cocaine to your list.”

“List?”

“There are so many.”

Ah yes.

My pressure points.

“You said you had happy news?”

She nods.

“I am with child.”

My breath stutters in my throat for a moment.

“I did promise you information in exchange for a child. I am here to keep my part of the bargain.”

“Really? What information do you think I need?”

“Mary Morstan.”

Mary.

“She has been smart enough to keep away from you.”

“As well as she should. I am very good at what I do.”

I smile thinly at her.

She waves her hand at me lazily.

“I am sure you would have deduced her eventually but I got tired of watching you fumble around.”

I had never despised a woman as much as I did Charlize Augustus Magnussen.

No woman had ever really frightened me as much before either.

And now I was having a child with her apparently.

Can’t say that decision was a smart one.

“What kind of information do you have on her?”

“Everything.”

“How?”

“You know my methods Mr. Holmes. I acquire information for later use.”

“Blackmail you mean.”

“It’s not blackmail. I call it an advantage.”

“And how big is your advantage?”

She gives me her sharp smile.

“Big enough to send her to prison for a lifetime.”

Prison.

“And how did you come about this information?”

Mycroft had not been able to come up with much.

“Amanda and I know each other.”

“Amanda?”

“Yes, Amanda. I thought you considered yourself to be the smartest man in London?”

“The smartest man in Europe and perhaps the whole Western world.”

“Ohh. And you didn’t know that Mary Morstan was a fake identity?”

“I didn’t have any leads.” I spit out.

“Really? Big brother not know the answer either?”

I grind my teeth together.

“Get your little notebook out then and write this down.”

“I’ll remember.”

“You sure?” She smirks.

“I’m sure.”

“Alright then. Mary Morstan was stillborn in October 1972. Gravestone is in Chiswick Cemetery. She was an intelligence agent, now she’s on the run.”

I press my hands together.

“On the run from what?”

“The ghosts of her past.”

“And how do you know Amanda?”

“A.G.R.A.”

I frown.

“I’m sorry?”

“Her initials. Amanda Grace Reynard Augustus.”

I pull my shoulders back.

Augustus.

“Family name.”

She nods.

“Amanda was married to my uncle Charles Augustus.”

“And now?”

“Now I hear she’s marrying your boyfriend.”

I press my lips together.

“Is she aware that you have valuable information on her?”

“I have not made myself visible to her. She will not be happy, but then no one ever is when they are being haunted. You know what they say about secrets Mr. Holmes. They never stay buried.”

“Yes. Especially when there are those willing to use them against you.”

“I am not using the information I have against you.”

“How can I trust you won’t?”

She stands and smooths down her pencil skirt.

“You just have to trust me.”

“An impossible feat.”

She smiles.

“Perhaps this will help you then. Even with all the files I have on you hidden away in my Appledore vaults, I was still willing to have a child with you.”

“Appledore. When will you invite me to see your vast vaults?”

She walks towards me.

“I can’t give all my secrets away.”

“I wasn’t asking you to. I merely wish to look upon Appledore’s magnificence.”

“You will never be able to look at the vaults.”

“Why?”

“Perhaps I am becoming soft with the pregnancy.”

I doubt that.

“But I will share a secret with you. You are after all the father of my child.”

“What is it?”

“The vaults don’t exist.”

“What?”

“They do not exist the way you think they do.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“My dear Sherlock.”

I shiver with distaste.

Ugh.

“I assume you have heard of a mind palace.”

I stare at her in surprise.

“Appledore vaults are my mind palace.”

“They don’t exist.”

“No. That way no one can take the information I have acquired and use it against me. When I die, my wealth of information will die with me.”

“Not necessarily. You can pass them on to me or to our son.”

“For what? You will never use it the way it should be and how can you trust that Mycroft won’t take it from you? Your mind palace will never hold all the information I have accumulated. And do you really want our son to be a target for those who hate me?”

“No you’re right. I am sure there a thousands out there who want you dead.”

She glares.

“Why do you think we will have a son?”

“I just said it and you followed my lead, therefore you must have calculated the odds and selected the perfect time to conceive to ensure you procured a male.”

She nods.

“Not the most brilliant but you are interesting enough.”

“Thank you, I am so touched you think so.”

“I do hope our son is not like you.”

“Out of the two of us I believe I am the winning parent.”

“I better be off. I wouldn’t want to push you back to your drug habits.”

“Don’t worry. Even with all the drugs in the world I would never be able to erase this moment.”

“Good.”

She kisses my cheek.

Oh god.

It was like being wrapped in a boa constrictor and expecting it not to choke the life out of you.

“I have enjoyed sparring with you, I hope you learned something.”

She turns to go.

“Wait.”

She turns back to me, one eyebrow cocked.

“What kind of things do you have on me?”

“Why?”

“What will you tell our son?”

“I was hoping to never mention you.”

Anger settles in the pit of my stomach.

“I have a right-”

“To do nothing. I told you, I would rather you had no contact with him.”

“Why? Because I’m a junkie?”

“Don’t be boring. I want our son to learn the way I learned to use my brain. With you and John he will become ordinary.”

Surprisingly that makes me smile.

“I have never been called ordinary before.”

“You’re never met anyone who is actually a genius.”

“My brother insists he is smarter than me.”

“Yes but he’s really not.”

I chuckle.

She sighs.

“Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, porn preference: normal, finances: unknown, brother: Mycroft Holmes-MI6, officially deceased: 2011-2013, too many pressure points. You might want to work on that.”

“Come now. You know you like having plenty to hold over me.” I smile.

“There is an abundance to choose from: opium, John Watson, Irene Adler, Jim Moriarty, Red beard, Hounds of Baskerville, cocaine.”

“Very good.” I say.

So this is what it felt like to be laid out for all to see.

“Why did you pick me despite the fact that I have so many pressure points?”

She smirks.

“I told you that already.”

“Yes. My beauty you said. But that can’t be the only reason why.”

“Maybe I just wanted a child who would stand out instead of blending in?”

I smile at her.

“Liar.”

“Sherlock.”

John stands in the doorway.

He glares at Charlize.

“John.” I say.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Charlize chuckles.

“Best thing about the English, you’re so domesticated. Always standing around, apologizing. Keeping your little heads down. I’ve interests all over the world but, everything starts in England.” She tells John.

John’s face tightens.

“I doubt we will see each other again Mr. Holmes.” She says glancing at me.

“I would like updates even if we cannot be in contact.”

She nods before walking out.

“So nice to see you again.” John calls after her.

Oh John.

I smile.

He looks at me and I school my expression.

“What do you want?”

“I came to see you.”

“For?”

He crosses his arms.

“You are an inconsiderate prick and an even worse friend.”

I cock an eyebrow.

“But what’s worse is that you just decided that we can’t be friend without bothering to ask me.”

“What was there-?”

“Shut it.”

I close my mouth.

I don’t know why but I always listened when he used his Captain voice on me.

Probably why he did it.

“I am tired of you considering what is best in this relationship without me and then you just expect me to go along with it without complaint. Well no more. A long lasting stable relationship can’t function that way.”

Relationship?

“What are you saying?”

“You’re the genius. Haven’t you figured it out?”

“Give me time.”

He unfolds his arms and walks towards me.

“I love you great bloody idiot.”

“I told you-”

“I am in love with you.”

I snap my mouth close.

“It took me a while but I got there. My other relationships didn’t work out because of you. Because I never had any defense against you and it’s the way I like it best. I like that we have this mad life, the two of us against the world. I like knowing that you need me. That you trust me to watch your back and pull you back from whatever trouble you’ve gotten yourself into.”

My heart pounds in my chest and my mouth dries up.

“You make it sound like I go looking for trouble.”

“Because you do. This flat is my home and I belong here with you.”

“Mary?”

“It’s over. I told her I couldn’t do it. My, uhh, my things are downstairs.”

I swallow.

“I’m…sorry?”

He laughs.

“No you’re not.”

“No. I’m not.”

His laughter is infectious.

“Come here.”

I walk closer to him.

“Are you averse to doing anything?” He asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Sexually I mean.”

“I don’t know. I’ve never done any sexual things with anyone.”

“Good. I have, obviously. But not with another man. So that’s good. We can learn together.”

“I’m just going to kiss you now.”

“Yes, that would be good.”

I lean down and press my lips to his.

His hands pull me closer and I let my own slide down his back.

He groans.

I want to hear what other sounds he makes, catalogue the intensity and the cause of the reaction.

“Bedroom.” He gasps between kisses.

I walk him backwards towards my bedroom.

He bumps into the table and vial and tubes fall to the floor, shattering.

“What was in them?” He asks kissing me again.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“There wasn’t anything poisonous or harmful was there?”

“You can clean it up later. Preferably with that horrid jumper Mary got you.”

“I think it looks nice.”

“Take it off.”

He laughs as I pull it over his head.

I throw it in the direction of the spill and walk him faster to my room.

“Whatever that liquid was isn’t going to burn the jumper or eat the fibers is it?”

I push him so that he’s lying on his back on the bed.

I climb over him and kiss him until he is gasping for air.

“It worries me that you’re not answering the question.”

“Do you want me to explain or would you rather kiss some more?”

“Never let it be said that John Watson refused a good snog.”

“I can’t wait to get you naked so that I can study you properly.”

“What does it say about me that I am completely turned on by that?”

“Don’t worry. I always knew you’d be easy to get into bed.”

“Oi!”

“Oh please. They don’t call you ‘Three Continents Watson’ for nothing.”

“How do you know that?”

“Question is: How did you not know I would know that?”

“I must be in love. I don’t care how you found out, I just want to get you out of your posh clothes and see what you’ve been keeping from me.”

“This could work to my benefit.”

“Don’t start getting any ideas.”

“It’s perfect. Whenever you’re being difficult I could just, I don’t know. Unbutton my shirt.”

“You already do that and don’t even think about it.”

I smile down at him.

“We’ll see.”

“Sherlock. I mean it. Sherlock?”

I bite his neck.

He gasps and arches up against me.

“You wanker.”

“Not yet.”

“Oh god.” He moans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it. Hopefully it won’t take me too long to get the second part down. I didn’t really want to get into any sex scenes in this part. Maybe in the second one. We’ll see how it plays out.  
> I had a hard time figuring out Mary Watson’s real name. I wanted it to end with Augustus but just couldn’t find the first three that would go with it. So I settled for Amanda. Fitting don’t you think?


End file.
